


Courtship Feast Results

by Nelioe



Series: Courtship Feast Results [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alpha Fíli, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Erebor Never Fell, Alternate Universe - Not Related, Childbirth, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Mpreg, Non-Graphic Violence, Omega Kíli, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Character Death, Thorin is awesome, the situation in the Iron Hills remains problematic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-07-26 06:47:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 26,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7564306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nelioe/pseuds/Nelioe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Side stories to "Matters of the Heart".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Charge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains spoilers, please read the notes or continue on your own risk!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are, side stories.
> 
> I thought long and hard when would be the best time to upload the first little story. I'm still not totally convinced, but it feels like I shouldn't wait too long with it, because this first chapter was once supposed to be part of the coming Chapter 21 of the main story.   
> So be warned, this chapter will contain spoilers for this chapter. Nothing too crucial, but it will change your reading experience of Chapter 21, therefore I would advise you, not to read this, before you have read Chapter 21 if you don't want to be spoiled.  
> The problem with this part of the side stories is that it didn't feel like it fit into the narrative style of the main story, which is mostly told solely from Fíli's point of view, with the flashbacks and Kíli's recaps creating breaks that should help to understand the motivation of the characters better. So this scene didn't feel like it fit, but I still think it's somehow important.
> 
> Either way, whatever you decide to read first (Chapter 21 of the main story or this side story), it will change the reading experience of the other piece. Therefore I wanted to leave the choice to you.

 

 

Kíli watched the duel with increasing worry. A couple of times his heart seemed to miss a beat, as he saw Rosbart bring another injury on Fíli. But the blond held his ground with surprising strength. Since they hadn't trained very often, – and of course Fíli would go easy on him with the omega’s basic knowledge in sword fighting, – Kíli hadn't experienced yet what kind of a fighter the prince of Erebor was.

When Fíli began to drive Rosbart in a corner with a fast series of blows, the knot of fear in Kíli's chest seemed to unravel and he was finally able to loosen his clenched fingers to wipe his sweaty palms on his trousers. Dwalin beside him murmured encouraging words under his breath. If it wasn't such a serious situation, the warrior’s low spurring on might have amused him. Instead Kíli had bitten the insides of his lips bloody as he feared more for Fíli's safety than his own fate.

By the time Fíli asked Rosbart to yield, Kíli's heartbeat had reached its usual rhythm again. The relief was only short-lived.

Kíli gasped, tremors spreading through his body, as Rosbart threw the shards at Fíli. The blond had no other choice but to protect his face from the projectiles, neglecting his guard in the process.

"That's not fair... he can't just...," Kíli whispered, following the fight with wide eyes. He might have no great knowledge of these traditions, but Rosbart's action couldn't be allowed. Wasn't measuring their strength and ability what should choose a winner and not foul ploy such as this?

But no one seemed to be outraged, no one tried to stop the fight, they were only watching. It didn't matter that Dwalin cursed, his hands twitching as if he wanted to reach for his axe to leap to Fíli's aid. When Rosbart sliced Fíli's leg, Kíli moved without thinking, pushing Dwalin out of the way, surprising himself with the force, and broke through the wall of guards.

"Kíli!" the warrior called after him.

The brunet's gaze was solely focussed on Fíli, suffering another blow, knocking him from his feet.

"Fíli!" Kíli screamed, diving for one of the blond's swords on the ground and reaching Rosbart just in time to intercept the blade, before it could end Fíli's life.

The other dwarf needed a few heartbeats to realise what just happened, whereas the omega clasped his right hand, holding Fíli's weapon, with his left. Perhaps he would've been able to stop Rosbart had he a sword suiting him, as it was, his arms began to shake with the strength required to withstand.

"You little brat!" the chieftain bellowed.

With his arms preoccupied, he didn't see the fist slamming into his cheek. The force of the blow caused him to collide painfully with the ground, Fíli's sword slipping from his hands and sliding away. Black dots were dancing mockingly in front of his eyes, as Kíli groaned and rolled onto his hands and knees.

The pain, radiating from his cheekbone to his whole face was momentarily forgotten, as he spotted Rosbart raising his sword once again. He was going to kill Fíli... his kind, brave, loyal, sweet Fíli. The thought of marrying the blond hadn't sat well in his chest, knowing he wouldn't receive anything but friendship from Fíli. Right now, however, losing what little he could have with him, hit him with a force Rosbart could never dream of possessing.

"Stop this madness this instant!" a voice demanded, which Kíli was barely able to hear over the turmoil in his head.

"No!" he exclaimed instead, throwing himself over Fíli, before the blade could hurtle down.

They were engaged and Kíli would rather endure the pain of yearning for Fíli's love, than going with Rosbart. It had happened already. Everything he knew taken from him, pushed into an environment he didn't understand, being treated like an insect, a toy, a waste of space... he couldn't go back to it, would rather die with Fíli. Perhaps Mahal would be kind and reunite Fíli and Frerin and finally silence the fear within Kíli, which felt more like a part of him than an actual emotion.

Mahal wasn't merciful.

A hand grabbed him by his hair, pulling him from Fíli's motionless body. Flailing, kicking and screaming, he tried to fight Rosbart. The dwarf was stronger, shaking him until Kíli felt dizzy and slapped him to drain the last bit of fight from him.

"You are mine now. I can do with you whatever I want, so you'd better obey me, if you want to stay unscathed," Rosbart hissed, his bad breath hitting Kíli's nose, making his head swim with nausea.

"Stop!" the voice from before ordered again. "How can you stand by and watch, have you all gone mad?"

A man pushed through the crowd. Only when the whispers of a name were passed by the bystanders, did they part for him. The stranger was almost as big as Dwalin, long dark hair elaborately braided, running over his shoulders, with the silver of the beads matching the few white strands in his mane. The long beard displayed the same care, plaited into one long braid. His clothes, kept in a dark blue, were adorned by a crest Kíli had never seen before. It didn't need more than the people of the Iron Hills bowing, to tell the brunet who had stepped into the fighting range. The dwarf wasn't wearing a crown, but it could be no other than Thorin Oakenshield, king of Erebor.

Rosbart's grip loosened and Kíli immediately scrambled away, hurrying to Fíli.

"This duel is a mockery! A duel is a battle of honour and still none of you cared for his foul ploy?" Thorin pointed at the chieftain. "A man, who can't win honestly, doesn’t deserve to call himself victorious."

"Fíli?" Kíli croaked meanwhile, stroking the blond's cheek and trying to rouse him.

"Thorin, my friend," Dáin decided to step forward. "I didn't know you would pay us a visit. Why don't you allow Balin to lead you to a chamber, so you can rest after the long journey? There is no need to get involved with matters that are already sorted."

Kíli's gaze trailed down to the wound on Fíli's leg. The brunet felt suddenly lightheaded at the sight of all that blood. Usually he hadn't troubles with seeing blood, how could he, when he was a hunter and often had to skin and gut his prey? But this was Fíli, the man he'd fallen in love with, slowly bleeding to death before his eyes.

"The matter isn't sorted, when you are allowing the murder of my son!" Thorin bellowed.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kíli could watch Dáin blanch.

"Your son? You didn't tell me you were sending me your son!"

"I didn't think it was necessary. I believed you would care about our alliance enough to remember the name of my heir!"

Kíli was too busy slipping out of his outer layers of clothing to acknowledge Thorin's ruse, using a once appreciated obliviousness to humiliate Dáin in front of his people and court. Pressing his tunic to Fíli's wound, the brunet glanced at his friend’s face, willing him to open his eyes.

It was quiet in the hall, which should be surprising with so many people present, but it seemed like no one dared to break the tense silence.

"These differences are no matters of mine," Rosbart said at last. "I will take the lad and take my leave."

Kíli's head jerked around, watching with wide eyes as the chieftain headed towards him.

No... no... no... this couldn't be happening. He needed to stay with Fíli, make sure he was alright!

"You will keep your hands off the lad!" Thorin snapped, causing the dwarf to pause.

Kíli's fearful gaze jumped between Rosbart and the king of Erebor.

"I have a contract-"

"I don't care what contract you have. You will forget about it and leave or your settlement will face war with Erebor for kidnapping the consort of the future king of Erebor!"

The omega couldn't tell how many people lived in Erebor compared to the settlement, but it were obviously enough to expel Rosbart, after a few seconds of silent staring at the king.

Gratefulness and relief weren't able to calm his frantic heartbeat, for as soon as Kíli's gaze returned to Fíli, he felt the familiar sense of fear, attempting to choke him with its power. His friend was pale, his breathing shallow and the tunic Kíli pressed to the wound already wet and sticky. The metallic smell of blood increased the nausea still sitting in his stomach.

"He needs a healer! Quick!" Kíli called, glancing desperately at Thorin.

"Óin!" Fíli's father called and another person became visible, fighting his way through the crowd with difficulty, just like Thorin moments before. "And for Mahal's sake, disperse these gawkers, have you lost all decency?"

Dáin barked an order barely a second later and suddenly the dwarves set into motion.

"You can let go, laddie. I will take over from here," a soothing voice of an older dwarf drifted to him.

Tears were blurring his vision, as the grey haired dwarf smiled kindly at him, gently pushing his hands away. What if Fíli was going to die after all? What if Thorin's appearance wouldn't change anything? He couldn't leave him now! There was so much blood… what if this dwarf couldn’t help him? What if Kíli had reacted too late to save him?

A sob erupted from his throat, as someone pulled him gently backwards and into an one-armed, strong embrace. Not even the surprise at the king of Erebor hugging him could stop the tears, instead they only seemed to intensify.

"Óin is the royal physician, he will do everything in his powers to help him."

 

 


	2. Argument

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one of the side stories I knew I needed to include right from the beginning. I hope it is something you were looking forward to.

 

 

“Do you care to explain to me what all of this was about?” Thorin asked the king of the Iron Hills outraged.

The image of his son, lying on the floor, bleeding heavily, with the lad Fíli had fallen in love with leaning over him with fear, seemed burned into his mind. He trusted Óin to save Fíli, the old healer more skilled and honest than others of his kind. Nonetheless, he wouldn’t need to stand here, fearing for his son’s life, trapped in a meeting with another king, when all he wanted was to sit at Fíli’s bedside and wait for his awakening, if Dáin’s despicable politics hadn’t put him into this position.

The other dwarf had at least the decency to look ashamed, whereas all Thorin wanted was to clench his fists and scream and demand justice for his son’s state.

“I can only apologise once again. It must’ve been this wretched courtship feast, muddling with my head.”

Thorin almost felt the urge to laugh, knowing full well Dáin had never been interested in Fíli in the slightest and was now only trying to save his face. He couldn’t confront him with this knowledge, though, making himself vulnerable if he did, it would mean admitting the deliberate deceit of the king of the Iron Hills after all.

“I would’ve never allowed this duel to take place, had I realised you had sent me your son.”

“This isn’t only about Fíli! You were selling your own nephew like a cattle on a market!”

Thorin had never agreed with the laws and traditions of the Iron Hills, but being a prince and later king of Erebor, he was doomed to accept them. It hadn’t been so hard when he was young. Back then Dáin had been different, a young boy with ambitions, trying to please his parents while finding his own path. Perhaps not the best brother a lass like Dís could ask for, but not cruel and dishonourable.

He had fought with Dáin in the battles, where Thorin gained the title Oakenshield. There had been a time they had entrusted the other with their lives. Right now however, Thorin wasn’t even sure if he felt comfortable with turning his back to the other dwarf even for a second.

After Dáin was crowned king, Thorin was disappointed to learn the other dwarf didn’t realise any of the great plans they had concocted as young lads, but had blamed it on the archaic mind-set of Dáin’s court. It was the first time Thorin truly noticed how much his old friend had changed with the years. It shouldn’t surprise him, since a couple of visits were hardly enough to recognise what was going on with the other dwarf, but Thorin found himself shocked nevertheless.

“He is just an omega,” Dáin replied.

“He is your nephew!” Thorin roared. “Would you have treated your son the same way, then?”

The redhead looked scandalised.

“Of course not! My son was an alpha! He and Kíli have nothing in common.”

“So if your son had been born an omega, you would’ve treated him the same way?” Thorin pressed, needed to know just how wrong he’d been about Dáin.

“Why are we talking about this hypothetical nonsense? It has nothing to do with what happened.”

Shaking his head sadly, Thorin began pacing up and down in Dáin’s quiet study, the men, keeping guard behind the closed door, the nearest breathing souls.

“What happened to you, Dáin? What happened to the lad that wanted to evolve the Iron Hills in a better place for everyone? I know that you and Dís have never been close, but you told me yourself that her ostracism came as a shock and that you would’ve solved things differently, were you given the chance. So what changed?”

His old friend scowled at him.

“I grew up.”

Growing up was certainly not what came to Thorin’s mind. He shook his head once more, increasing Dáin’s indignation.

“Perhaps you should ask yourself, Thorin, how you will be remembered one day. Your son might remember you as his father, but your people will only ever see you as their king. Would you truly want to be forgotten, maybe even loathed for changes most of your people wouldn't want?”

“Because _your_ people have never known anything else. You won’t even give them the chance for a better future.”

“You wouldn’t talk like that, if you had lost your son along with your mate. You wouldn’t talk like that, if you had found your wife, defiled and murdered by the very same people you were trying to help!” the moist shimmer in his friend’s eyes wasn’t lost on Thorin.

Of course he still remembered the day the gruesome news had reached Erebor and the time he’d wept for Dáin, knowing far too well how the loss of a One felt. But it wasn’t a free ticket for the madness the king had caused.

“So you rather condemn your people, because of the deeds of a minority?”

“Being king is all I have left and I will have my people remember me as a strong and unrelenting one and not lose the crown to a civil war, because of some coup!”

“No, no, no,” Thorin said, disappointed in himself for not realising sooner what had become of his friend. “This is no excuse. I don’t think our alliance has a future, if you intend to follow this policy. Perhaps you need to ask _yourself,_ if you loved your son because he was born an alpha or because he was your child! Think of it, when you look at your folk the next time!”

And with that Thorin turned around and headed towards the door, tired of this conversation.

“What? Wait! Where are you going? You can’t just make a threat like that and leave instead of discussing it!”

“I am going to see my son! The lad whose murder you almost allowed! So excuse me that I don’t feel like continuing this conversation! If you are so keen on maintaining our alliance, then we can continue once I’ve received news by Óin. But mark my words, if Fíli dies peace won’t be an option any longer and every kind of misery following and every drop of blood your people will shed, will be on your hands.”

Thorin let the threat linger, as he left the study, feeling strangely numb while Dáin remained in the study, frozen with shock.

 

 


	3. Suspicion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since these are side stories, the chapters aren't uploaded in a chronological order. :)
> 
> I will add their actual order in a little note once all of the side stories are posted.

 

 

They had met for an early lunch in their chambers to enjoy some togetherness they usually could only dream of while doing their duties between lessons. Especially Kíli had still a lot to learn, even now that he was living in Erebor for ten years and they had long since been married. But the brunet was a good student, complained little and learned with diligence, eager to accompany him one day on diplomatic travels. Fíli appreciate it, during few times he had been gone for awfully long weeks he’d missed his consort terribly.

“How has your day been so far?” Fíli asked before taking a bite.

“I’ve learned something about the customs of the elves, they are very…,” his beloved frowned, “odd.”

Fíli couldn’t help but laugh brightly. He had thought the same, when hearing about them for the first time. Back then he’d only been used to the customs of his own people and couldn’t really imagine why elves just wouldn’t live like dwarves. To his young, non-reflective mind it had come as a shock in the beginning. He was sure, though, that Kíli would come to view it differently in the future as well, if Fíli could do it, his love certainly wasn’t going to have any trouble to do so as well.

“Aye, I thought so, too, in the beginning,” he told him.

To his surprise Kíli only smiled mildly and now that he’d noticed the unusual reaction, he realised his consort’s lack of talkativeness, since they’d started eating. Kíli normally wasn’t holding back, when telling Fíli about his day. From the moment the brunet had begun to feel at home in Erebor he’d spoken openly about anything that bothered him or made him happy. Kíli was only then reserved, when he wasn’t feeling well.

“Love,” Fíli addressed him carefully. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, I just-,” the omega’s eyes were stubbornly staring at the wall left to Fíli’s head. He seemed a bit pale. “I mean, I’m not feel-,“ whatever he wanted to say it died in a gag.

Fíli was up in a second, chair crashing to the floor, and hurried to his beloved’s side, who’d pressed on hand to his mouth and the other to his stomach. An ice-cold sensation ran down his spine as he kneeled next to Kíli’s chair.

“Is there fish in the soup?!” Fíli barked at the servant, lingering in one corner of the room, whose job it was to refill their mugs, when he wasn’t bringing the food. The soup hadn’t really smelled of fish, but there were so many other ingredients, vegetables and spices, that he might not have noticed it.

“No, Sire.”

“Are you sure?” Fíli demanded to know. Horrible images of Kíli writhing with cramps, whimpering in pain and throwing up until all strength seemed to leave him flashed past his mind’s eye. He still remembered the rash that made sleeping harder for his love days later, the itching unbearable.

“Fee,” Kíli began, but choked on the words, running to the bathroom not a second later and almost knocking the blond down in his haste.

Fíli was up, followed him into the bathroom and repeated his actions of years ago. Holding his hair and rubbing his back. At least this time his tunic wasn’t feeling that sweaty. Still, just the thought of seeing Kíli in such a state made him nauseous with worry.

“I want to speak to the cook!” Fíli angrily called to the servant. He had told them so often no fish was to be served to Kíli and someone had went against his orders, still.

“No, Fee,” the brunet suddenly panted, spitting before continuing, “there was no fish in the soup.” The break between heaves was only short-lived, just a few moments later he was already throwing up again, groaning with discomfort.

Fíli didn’t know what to make of this. If this wasn’t because of fish, then what else could it be? Was he ill? Dwarves barely got sick once they had reached a certain age, so it had to be serious if it was a sickness. His heart clenched with the ghost of a fear he knew far too well. He couldn’t lose Kíli. He couldn’t lose someone he loved again. He wouldn’t be able to cope with it. Even though it was killing him with fright, he tried to be a comforting presence at his beloved’s side, not asking any questions while Kíli was puking as if he wanted to get rid of his organs.

Eventually it ended. Fíli helped him to clean his chin and to rinse out his mouth. Afterwards he asked the servant to bring the food away. He wasn’t feeling hungry anymore and Kíli didn’t look like he could keep anything but tea down. Ushering Kíli into their bedroom he urged him to get rid of his boots and the outer layers of his garments and then tucked him in.

Kíli smiled up at him, tired and a little shaky, while Fíli busied himself with gently stroking the brunet strands of hair.

“If this isn’t fish then what is this about, Kee?”

His consort sighed, leaning into his touch.

“I don’t know for sure. I just have a suspicion.”

“Tell me,” Fíli begged, abandoning his sitting position in favour of lying down beside his love.

“I think, I might be pregnant.”

Blinking, he stared at Kíli, completely taken aback.

“I thought you were taking the herbs?” he said with a frown, unable to give in to that little bubble of excitement forming in his stomach.

He couldn’t allow himself to feel happy just yet. Yes, he’d wanted his own little family one day, but he and Kíli had agreed to wait, to get to know each other better and that they didn’t need to seriously think about it, before Kíli hadn’t reached one hundred. Prior to that, no one would think it odd, that there was no talk about it, since it was the average age for starting a family among dwarves. And since their initial conversation neither he nor Kíli had addressed the topic again. Furthermore he knew that his consort was taking the herbs to prevent a pregnancy, so considering this information there shouldn’t be a way for the omega to fall pregnant.

“I forgot them once,” Kíli then admitted. “You remember that hunting trip with your friends six weeks ago?” Fíli nodded. “I didn’t think I would need them. We weren’t supposed to have some time alone. But then it started storming on the way back and you said it would be better to stay at an inn in Dale until it had passed. And we were so drunk that evening, when he we got back into our room.”

 _And so horny_ , Fíli added mentally.

“I completely forgot to tell you that I hadn’t taken the herbs, but I thought afterwards perhaps nothing would happen if we did it one time without them. But my lower back hurts from time to time and there is this cramp in my belly then and again, I feel nauseous and tired and I don’t really think there can be any other explanation.” 

It took all of Fíli’s willpower to keep the soft smile on his features, to prevent it from growing and hurting his cheeks with the joy ready to burst out of him. But he couldn’t let it out just yet. Kíli probably hadn’t this suspicion only since today and therefore he had to be careful. He didn’t want to crush his beloved with feelings he might not return.

“And how do you feel about it?”

Kíli shrugged helplessly.

“I don’t know. We said we would wait.”

“We did. But sometimes things like these simply happen,” Fíli replied softly. “Do you… do you want the baby?”

“It’s… it’s just a suspicion. I might not be pregnant,” Kíli avoided the question, for the first time breaking eye contact.

“Aye,” Fíli agreed. “But… just imagine your suspicion turns out to be the truth. Do you want the baby?”

Biting his lips before meeting his gaze again, Kíli asked: “Do you?”

Fíli tried to put all his love into his smile, hoping it would ease whatever was eating at his love.

“Yes, I want it. But we both have to want it. I’m not going to force you into anything you aren’t comfortable with.”

Kíli rolled onto his side then, snuggling up to Fíli and pressing their foreheads together. His breathing was hampered by emotions as he began to play gently with one of Fíli’s moustache braids.

“I want it,” he murmured softly. “It will be born in Erebor. It will have a good life. It will never have to feel inadequate, regardless what it will be.”

Fíli pulled him closer to soothe the pain recognisable in Kíli’s voice. He had gone through great suffering and came out alive and well, even if a part of the abuse would always stay with him. It would make him an amazing father, though. Kind and fair and their child would never go without love.

Kissing his consorts temple tenderly, Fíli let one of his hands wander to Kíli’s flat belly.

“A future king or queen of Erebor,” he whispered. “I can’t wait to meet them.”

And indeed, after they had taken a nap together and went to Óin afterwards, the healer announced that Kíli was indeed carrying the next heir to the throne. The people of Erebor were overjoyed once the news went around.

 

 


	4. Toymaker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For [Taupefox59](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Taupefox59/pseuds/Taupefox59), who asked for Kíli in his element. I hope this works for you, I thought since we already saw Kíli with his bow, this time something else should be the focus. :)

 

 

Fíli heard Kíli humming before he spotted him, sitting on the ground, back leaned against the couch and his front warmed by the chimney fire. Papers were spread out beside him, along with thin wooden boards, sawn into a particular form, and pieces of metal and all sorts of tools. His consort was busy with sanding one of the wooden forms, as Fíli headed over to him.

The ground on the living room was a mess, covered in sawdust and other scraps. Fíli didn’t really mind, partly because they hadn’t yet managed to furnish a room for Kíli’s hobby and because the other wouldn’t allow the servants to clean up, instead insisted on doing it himself. Usually the brunet was quite happy for the servants doing the laundry, tidying or dusting. Fíli had already realised, not only due to the room in the Iron Hills, but also through living together, that his betrothed was a rather untidy person. Therefore Kíli seemed relieved no one expected of him to undertake any of these duties – at least as long as the utensils he was working with right now weren’t touched and his system of chaos destroyed. When it came to the omega’s work however, he felt responsible to clean up on his own and wouldn’t accept any help offered by the servants.

“How was your day?” Kíli asked him by the time he sank onto the couch, not looking up from his work.

Fíli glanced at the small cogs and figurines with fascination. The papers revealed concepts of toys, informing him about the measurements of the particular parts, where and how they needed to be combined, one of them showing a mechanism the blond wasn’t familiar with.

“Boring. I hate those endless discussions about trade agreements, especially when both sides refuse reasonable compromises,” Fíli told him with a sigh, glad to be home, with the warm fire, Kíli’s soothing presence and dinner to be served within the next hour.

“Could you solve the issue, though?”

“Aye, thank Mahal. One hour longer and I might’ve threatened them with my swords,” he chuckled, drawing a smile to Kíli’s lips, while he carefully placed the apparently finished wooden form on the pile sitting beside him, to attent the tiny cogs next. “I don’t know how my father does this every day.”

“Years of training would be my guess,” his beloved replied with a smirk.

Fíli snorted.

“And how was your day?”

“Master Vestri worked with me on my reading and writing skills.”

“And?”

Kíli shrugged.

“They are still awful.”

“Those things take time, Kee.”

The other sighed.

“I know.” 

He couldn’t help but feel bad for ruining the comfortable mood, although Kíli didn’t seem mad. Still, Fíli knew how desperately the omega wanted to learn, to be become a worthy consort. In his opinion the other already was, but Kíli was stubborn, wanted to understand everything as fast as possible so he would be able to accompany him on future journeys, the fear of embarrassing the blond too paralysing for any travels at the moment. Fíli should’ve dropped the matter, when it was mentioned, instead of pressing.

As he lowered his head with a silent curse, his gaze wandered to one of the toys.

“What’s this?”

For the first time Kíli looked up from his work, his eyes landing on the bird, among the section of finished toys. Immediately his whole face lit up with excitement.

“Oh! Bifur showed me how to make them!”

Putting the box he’d been working on to the side, Kíli reached for it. Turning his upper body in Fíli’s direction, he raised the toy for the blond to catch a better glance. It was an eagle, as Fíli noticed now, mostly made of wood, with only the wings crafted from leather. The most conspicuous, though, were the thin metal poles, going to the wings and legs of the bird.

“You see those poles?”

Fíli nodded.

“If you move them,” Kíli began, instantly turning rhetoric into action. The alpha’s lids widened with wonder, as his consort’s movements, set the wings of the bird into smooth motions, imitating beating wings.

“You made this?” Fíli breathed.

“Aye!” Kíli replied with a wide grin. “The poles were the worst, oh and the leather. If it isn’t sewed up correctly, the leather could tear at the anchoring of the poles.”

“When did Bifur show you?”

“About a week ago, I think.”

Fíli stared at him in disbelief. A week? He’d managed to create such a wonderful toy within a week?

Sliding down beside his consort, careful not disturb the utensils, Fíli pulled the other into a kiss.

“You are amazing.” The smile his consort gifted him contained so much pride and happiness, it sent a tingle through his body.

Kíli would’ve made such a fabulous toymaker, indeed. There were so many different kinds sitting on the ground and waiting to be finished. Every single one of them unique in their own ways and not one made with less diligence than the others. Although… seeing so many of them Fíli had to wonder...

“What are you planning, by the way? Do I have to worry of Bifur recruited you?”

“Aw, you don’t need to worry, no one is stealing me from my wonderful husband,” Kíli said teasingly, reaching for one of the alpha’s moustache-braids and gently pulling him into another kiss. This one firmer and drawn out, even though no tongue was involved.

“So, what’s going on then?” Fíli asked, once they broke apart, nudging his beloved playfully.

Kíli laughed, loud and bright, before a rosy hue crept to his cheeks.

“After Bifur taught me… well…. it is possible that I…, in my excitement…, accidently promised to make a toy for each of Bombur’s twelve children.”

The fire in Kíli’s eyes indicated that he didn’t regret this promise in the slightest.

 

 


	5. Worries

 

 

Fíli awoke one night to find the other half of their bed empty. No warmth snuggling up to him, no even breathing and soft mumbles to fill the room with its own very special kind of music, a love song to his heart that didn’t need any words. Immediately he felt wide awake, lightened a candle and looked around, but Kíli was nowhere to be found.

He called for him, searched every corner of their chambers, without success. In the darkness of their home he was alone and felt suddenly very cold. This wasn’t like Kíli to disappear just like that, with no note to tell him where he had went. Usually Fíli felt safe inside the walls of Erebor, the gates as heavily guarded as the royal wing, but right now dread spread through his body, hastening his heartbeat and sending shivers down his spine.

What if there were traitors? Such a thought hadn’t crossed his mind before, he trusted the guards and his father’s judgement, who was involved in the decision of selecting the guards for this area of the mountain. With Kíli missing, however, in the dead of the night, the suspicion had formed inside his worried mind and didn’t want to leave again.

Slipping into his boots and throwing on a coat hurriedly, the prince readied a lantern and left his chambers. It was completely silent outside, as if the whole world was asleep and every step echoing from the high walls was disturbing the peace of the night. Luckily Fíli didn’t need to search long, crossing the path of a patrolling guard.

The dwarf seemed surprised to see him at such a late hour, instead addressing it though, he stuck by the established procedure and bowed respectfully.

“My prince.”

“Have you seen Kíli anywhere? He isn’t in our chambers,” Fíli asked, his stomach doing nauseating somersaults.

“I have, my prince. It was only some minutes ago.”

Relief and worry balanced each other. Why hadn’t he stopped him? Why had no one informed him? What was going on?

“The prince consort assured me, he just wanted to stretch his legs and ordered me to return to my post.”

Fíli frowned. Stretching his legs in the middle of the night? That was odd. At least no one had attacked him, although it wasn’t easing the strange situation.

“Have you seen where he went?”

“Yes, my prince. He was on his way to the graves. Do you want me to call a search party and escort him back to your chambers?”

“No, that won’t be necessary.  I will fetch him myself.”

He wanted to talk to his love first and he knew Kíli would be angry, should guards show up and demand him to return home. Controlling factors in his life were still sometimes a trigger, reminding him of the terrible months in Dáin’s care and whatever had him leaving the chambers at such an hour, Fíli didn’t want to add to it with a naïve order, because of worry clouding his judgement.

“Very well.”

With this their ways parted and Fíli headed for the graves. It had been a long time, since he’d been here the last time. It had been at the anniversary of Frerin’s death, almost eight months ago. Time seemed to run. Fíli could barely believe he was soon married to Kíli for eleven years, could barely believe their first child would be born in a couple of weeks. It felt surreal and at the same time made his heartbeat speed up with warmth. After Frerin’s death he hadn’t thought to find happiness ever again, but his destructive mind had been proven wrong.

And indeed, Frerin’s tomb was where he found Kíli. His consort was sitting in an awkward position leaning against the tomb, one hand stroking his swollen belly as he spoke in a low voice. Fíli stopped dead in his tracks, trying to silence his loud heartbeat and listening to the quiet words echoing through the wide chamber.

“I know this is what you and Fíli always dreamed of. I’m sorry you never had a change to have this. I’m sorry I’m getting this and you won’t.”

The ghost of an ache pulled the prince’s chest tighter. Now that they were so close again, he felt the soft reverberation of pain through their bond. Fíli sighed. He knew Kíli had confidence issues. Dáin’s treatment had broken something inside his beloved and even though Kíli didn’t want to admit it, claimed he was fine, sometimes the insecurities overwhelmed him. It usually happened during times stress would pile up, until he felt like he was going to drown in it.

Now, so close to giving birth, so close to taking over responsibility for another living being, to raise it into a fine young dwarf, Fíli could completely understand the fears attacking him. Especially since this baby hadn’t been planned, which meant even less time to mentally prepare him for the task awaiting them. Fíli had those fears too, was scared of neglecting Kíli, while trying to manage his princely duties and fatherhood, let alone that being a father sounded pretty scary as well.

They weren’t alone, though. There were many people ready to support them. They didn’t have to do this alone and most importantly: they had each other.

With that thought kept in mind, Fíli slowly walked over to Kíli, who immediately lowered his head in shame, when he spotted him. Sliding down beside him, he wasted no time, pulling the brunet close and kissing his temple tenderly. His heart ached for Kíli, but there wasn’t much he could do. Those insecurities would probably stay with him for the rest of his life, just like Fíli’s fear of losing his beloved would never really cease. The only thing he could do was to reassure him, show him that he was loved and that everything he was afraid of only existed in his head.

“Frerin wouldn’t begrudge us our happiness. He would be _thrilled_ , knowing you are carrying a child. Yes, Frerin and I planned to have a little family before his death. But I want the same with you. Not because I couldn’t marry Frerin, but because that’s something I always wanted. I could only ever imagine having children with someone I love and not the way Dáin tried to force upon you.” Kíli shivered in his arms at the mention of the king of the Iron Hills. “I’m happy, Kíli. _You_ make me so happy. I want to have a family, because I love you, not because you are second best. I loved Frerin with the same intensity I love you now, it’s just a different kind of love, simply because you are different people. You make me a better person and I can’t wait to take the next step in our relationship with you, when we are finally going to hold our little boy or girl.”

His hand wandered to Kíli’s belly, almost instantly feeling a nudge from the inside press against his palm, as if someone wanted to greet him. It almost made him smile, but his love’s wince kept his lips in check.

“I’m sorry,” the omega whispered hotly against the side of his neck. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately.”

Fíli believed he knew. On the one hand there were the worries about becoming a parent and on the other the hormonal changes Óin had warned them about. In his opinion that gave Kíli pretty much a free ticket when it came to freaking out. He could only imagine how hard a pregnancy was and those thoughts didn’t even include an unplanned one. If someone would ask him, he would honestly reply that Kíli was facing the whole thing amazingly.

“You are about to have a major life-change. There is nothing wrong with being scared. I’m scared, too.”

Kíli leaned back slightly. “Why are you scared?” he wondered, sounding truly surprised.

“Because I want to be there for you and our child, but I’m scared my duties won’t allow it. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

He swallowed hard. It was a fear he was harbouring for some time, but hadn’t dared to admit out loud. Although, if it helped Kíli to feel better about his own worries, then he would gladly lay himself bare.

“You could never disappoint me, Fee,” Kíli assured him warmly. “You’ve always been there for me and have found time for me despite your busy schedule. That won’t change. You won’t allow it, because it’s important to you. It’s one of the many reasons why I love you so much.”

Fíli couldn’t help the grin spreading over his lips at his beloved’s encouraging words. He gently cupped his face then, pulling him into a kiss the other happily returned. It was a brush of lips at first, but turned heated in the blink of an eye. In the beginning he was enjoying the softness of Kíli’s lips and a second later he couldn’t help but thrust his tongue in the waiting mouth, drawing a moan from the brunet, while hands clutched at his tunic.

It felt as if he’d never gotten used of kissing Kíli. His unique smell spoke to the animalistic part of Fíli, encouraging the alpha inside him to claim what was his, filling him with the desire to explore and draw those beautiful erotic sounds from Kíli’s throat. He loved his soft skin, they feeling of chest hair under his fingers, the heavy sound of panting and the delicious hitching of breaths when Fíli bit and sucked marks into his skin.

The drunken feeling abated as soon as it had come, though, for Kíli winced once more and groaned for a completely different reason. It also brought Fíli to the attention that there were definitely better places to act on his love for Kíli than the _graves_!

“I swear, this baby is trying to kick the living daylights out of me,” the brunet whined.

Fíli grimaced in sympathy, got onto his feet and helped Kíli up as well. His consort huffed, massaging his lower back. It didn’t seem to have the desired effect.

“Does it hurt?”

“Aye,” Kíli sighed.

“It was probably sitting on the hard stone for so long, let’s get back to bed, shall we?”

Even in the sparsely light of the lantern Fíli was able to see Kíli blush.

“I’m sorry I’ve made you come down here.”

“Don’t be,” Fíli replied, pecking him briefly on the lips to avoid another unappropriated set of kissing at this place. “It got us talking about something we should’ve talked about a long time ago. It was a good thing,” he added with a smile, pleased to see Kíli return it.

 

 


	6. Massage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bookworm asked for a chapter revolving around Fíli, Kíli and their first child. I hope it turned out to your liking! :)
> 
> To all of you who made suggestions and stated wishes: I'm working on them! I'm just struggling a little at the moment between figuring out how graduating for my field of study works and figuring out in which directions I want certain side stories to go.

 

 

Fíli sprinted up the stairs to the royal chambers. He felt bad for leaving his beloved for three whole days because of the festivities he had to attend in Dale. It couldn’t have come at a more inconvenient time. Dís and her husband were visiting friends in the Iron Hills, Thorin was busy negotiating with Thranduil’s ambassador and the invitation to the festivities couldn’t be rejected as not to jeopardize Dale’s and Erebor’s great political relationships. Therefore Fíli had no other choice but to leave Kíli, taking Dwalin with him as his bodyguard.

His consort had to take care of their daughter on his own. Usually this wouldn’t have been a big deal, but with everyone busy or away, there was no one to help Kíli with it. Barely three months old, she suffered from infantile colic and thus was crying excessively. The brunet had to be incredibly tired and so Fíli wanted to reach their chambers as fast as possible, intending to coax Kíli to catch some sleep, while he would take care of their little girl.

As soon as he bolted into their chambers, Fíli was hit by the immense heat inside. Frowning he got out of his coat, feeling already the first droplets of sweat evolving on his back and tried to locate the source of the heat. Sure, summer was slowly turning into autumn, but whoever had stoked up the fire had completely exaggerated. Opening the door to their bedroom, the first Fíli noticed was the strong smell of camomile, before he spotted Kíli.

His beloved was sitting on the bed, Yrsa, their daughter, lying on her back in front of him, spread out on a soft lambskin, wearing nothing more than a nappy. The brunet’s hands were moving over her body, rubbing and massaging, while she flailed about with her little arms.

Kíli glanced at him briefly and send a soft smile his way, not once breaking skin contact with Yrsa.

“Please, close the door,” his consort told him quietly. The lowered note in his voice caused Fíli to act equally silent as he slowly followed the instruction.

Approaching them a couple of questions were bustling about in his head, not one of them ready to be asked just yet, though. Surprised he noticed that Yrsa’s skin was gleaming in the dim light, as if she had been anointed. Despite the unfamiliar situation, she was completely calm, save for her bouncing arms and legs of course. Even Kíli, although still scarred by tiredness as the dark circles under his eyes indicated, seemed a lot more relaxed, compared to the day Fíli had left him. What had happened in his absence?

“Welcome home,” Kíli whispered, when Fíli carefully lowered himself onto the mattress, following his beloved’s movements. His hands were massaging the tummy clockwise.

“What are you doing?” he wondered.

He’d expected a completely exhausted Kíli, a screaming baby and lots of stress, instead he was greeted with such a peaceful picture, it was hard to comprehend what he was seeing.

“Óin taught me,” the omega told him with a chuckle. “I was already despairing the first night you were away. She wouldn’t stop crying and nothing could soothe her. I was scared I did something wrong and went to Óin on the next morning, hoping he would’ve any advice or mixture that might help her. Instead he showed me how to massage her, so she could get rid of the pressure inside her. It’s working surprisingly well.”

“Massaging a baby?” Fíli echoed. “I never heard of it. And it truly works?”

Kíli nodded.

“I haven’t heard of it either. But she is very calm now. Óin said he picked it up among elves, but couldn’t yet find any dwarf that would allow him to try it on their children. I thought it was worth a shot and as you see, it’s working wonderfully.”

Fíli wasn’t very surprised. Even though the elves were their allies, most dwarves hadn’t let go of their distrust. Óin was more open than most, although Fíli assumed it was only because a healer did everything to help his patients. Whatever his motivation was, the blond didn’t care, as long as it eased other people’s suffering. Seeing Yrsa’s little face so calm, Fíli decided he had to thank Óin for telling his consort about this amazing technique.

“What about the warmth and the smell, though?” he wondered.

“Well, she can’t get cold, can she? It wouldn’t be very relaxing this way and Óin said she needs a calm atmosphere for the massage and that the best way of getting her into the mood for the massage in the future is to condition her with a special scent. So I’m using camomile.”

“And you learned this in three days?”

Kíli looked at him briefly, eyes shining proudly.

“Well, it’s not really difficult. You need to keep skin contact and otherwise it’s just the same movements over and over again.”

“Can you show me?”

“Of course,” the brunet’s words contained so much warmth and affection Fíli felt a pleasant shiver wander down his spine. “Just wash your hands and anoint them afterwards. Make sure, though, that your hands and the oil are warm.”

Fíli nodded and got up cautiously, avoiding sudden movements so he wouldn’t startle Yrsa. After washing his hands diligently, Fíli returned to the bedroom and took the little bottle of oil. Kíli moved over to allow Fíli to sit in front of their daughter, although he wasn’t allowed to start before his beloved hadn’t assured himself that they were truly warm.

“All right, how about we start with the feet?” Kíli suggested and Fíli found himself nodding.

It was weird in the beginning, even with the omega’s instructions Fíli was scared of hurting their little girl. He was merely stroking the bottom of her foot, until Kíli interrupted him and softly told him to be a wee bit less gentle, warning him that she would start to fuss if he only tickled her.

It took a couple of minutes to get used to the movements, to understand what kind of pressure was too soft and which completely right, but with Kíli’s guiding words he soon found the right rhythm and the way Yrsa burbled contently almost made his heart burst with love. She was their pride and joy, so small but already such a beauty, twisting her parents around her little finger with every breath she drew.

Fíli liked this closeness, was relieved that they had been given a way to help her, to soothe some of the pains attacking her through a knowledge no other healer could’ve provided them with. He looked into her eyes, whispering sweet words to her as he worked and hoped the reason her blue eyes had gradually begun to turn darker was because they would soon fit to the brunet fuzz of hair on her head.

 

 


	7. First Fight

 

 

Kíli was breathing hard and had begun to stumble then and again. Dwalin was an unrelenting teacher, something Fíli had always known, even though he’d never trained with the warrior over such a long period of time, if the few lessons he’d attended as a child counted at all. Kíli, on the other hand, was learning how to fight with an axe and sword solely from Dwalin.

Since the wedding the tattooed dwarf had set it on himself to chase Kíli through a tough training program three times a week. Running to improve his stamina, swinging at straw-dummies and experiencing different tactics through hand-to-hand combats. So far Kíli had happily told him about the training, even if he would drop into the bed on those days, dead to the world, with every muscle in his body aching. He was radiating with excitement and Fíli loved seeing him bouncing on his feet, when he couldn’t tell the blond fast enough about what he’d learned this time.

Today, however, was the first time Fíli had come to watch the training and what he saw put his heart in a vice-like grip and squeezed until he feared it might give out under the pressure. Kíli was sweating and shaking, looking clearly exhausted, but still Dwalin wouldn’t stop his movements, was attacking the brunet with a force that caused him to move backwards ever so slowly, as he lacked a better way to answer the warrior’s blows.

The next time Kíli stumbled, he wasn’t able to find his balance again, falling to the ground with the sword slipping from his fingers. Fíli’s breath faltered, his heart pounding so hard and fast it felt like it was swaying his whole body in its rhythm. He waited for Dwalin to stop the offence, but the warrior wasn’t slowing down in the slightest, bringing his blade down on the brunet and causing him to roll out of harm’s way as fast as his protesting limbs allowed.

Fíli caught a glimpse at Kíli’s expression, a sight that made his blood boil with horror and anger.

“Dwalin! Stop!” he barked.

The warrior froze in mid-motion, turning slightly to look over his shoulders, while Kíli frowned at his husband.

How could Dwalin endanger Kíli like that? Hadn’t he seen that the younger dwarf was at the end of his tether? He had been told to teach him, not to risk his life so carelessly!

As Fíli hurried over to them, fists clenched, his eyes didn’t leave Dwalin’s confused features even for a second. His ignorance at Fíli’s interruption only urged him to intensify his glare.

“Is something the matter?” Dwalin wondered, when Fíli came to a halt in front of him. Out of the corner of his eye Fíli saw Kíli struggling back onto his feet.

“I should ask you this question!” Fíli replied furiously.

“I’m just teaching him-“

“You weren’t teaching him! You were acting like you fought a worthy opponent on a battlefield!”

The look on Dwalin’s face darkened.

“Fíli,” he said warningly.

“He is completely exhausted and you were still attacking him! What kind of lesson were you going to teach him? How dying feels like?”

The blond was still glaring at the warrior, his whole body tense, as if it was only waiting for the wrong reply to charge at Dwalin. The other was already opening his lips, but whatever he wanted to say never found his way past them.

“In Mahal’s name! What’s the matter, Fíli?” Kíli addressed him all of a sudden. “I don’t want Dwalin to go easy on me!”

“He has to go easy on you, you are completely inexperienced,” Fíli argued. “You need to learn slo-“

“I’m not some freaking flower!” the brunet exclaimed, dashing the sword to the ground so hard, the clattering sound made Fíli wince. “I don’t need people to go easy on me! I’m not going to break! And I don’t need you to tell me what I can and can’t do!”

Startled, Fíli blinked.

“Why are you getting so aggressive? Don’t act like you know what you can handle! You barely know what's going on!” the blond replied. He was just worried, why was Kíli suddenly so unreasonable? This was completely ridiculous, making them fight over something so stupid, just because his consort couldn’t admit Fíli was right.

“You seriously have to ask?” Kíli shrieked with disbelief.

Gazing at him with betrayal shining in his eyes, Fíli tried to figure out what the omega was searching for. Whatever he found, the anger distorted his face only further, ere he turned around with a frustrated huff, walking away as fast as he could without breaking into a run.

“Kíli! Wait!” Fíli called after him, ready to follow him and solve this weird issue.

“Don’t follow me! I don’t want to talk to you!”

Fíli huffed with annoyance at Kíli’s intransigence and stomped off into the opposite direction, a similar cloud of wrath surrounding him as his consort.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Thorin realised pretty fast that something wasn't right and casted him quizzical glances the blond merely shrugged off. Fíli was still fuming with anger, he'd just tried to be considerate of Kíli's well-being. Dwalin had overdone it and the brunet had experienced it first hand, had barely managed to evade the threatening blade. Who knew what would've happened had Fíli allowed the warrior to continue like this. Kíli might've died, but still he stuck with Dwalin, not thinking of Fíli, just like Frerin.

He couldn't go through this again, watch how they lowered the body of the man he loved into a stone coffin, standing there, feeling so utterly helpless and alone. Why was always he the one thinking of the people he loved, but never the other way round? Were his feelings so insignificant compared to their own?

Kíli should know how much this thought tormented him. Fíli had spoken countless times of Frerin, his consort was aware of the pain he'd carried around for a very long time. Kíli should've understood, but instead he got angry, trying to make him the villain. Was it so terrible that Fíli tried to protect what he loved?

Those thoughts wouldn't leave him through all of the meetings. He just wanted to return home and confront Kíli with his observations. But when finally the last word was spoken, the advisors dismissed and Fíli back in their chambers, the rooms were empty. Fíli huffed angrily. Oh, so now Kíli couldn't even admit his mistake and cowardly avoided a debate?

With a furrow between his brows, Fíli sat down in the living room with some documents he had to read through, facing the door. He would wait, this wasn't over yet!

But the longer he sat there, occasionally looking up from his work to frown at the entrance to their chambers, the more the anger subsided. Kíli should've been back by now, perhaps he just needed some time to blow off steam and therefore the alpha tried not to worry, even though a small wave of guilt began to seep into him. By the time the servants brought dinner, it had turned into a raging storm, causing him to pace up and down, anxiously focussing on the door, after he'd sent the servants away.

He didn't feel hungry anymore and certainly wouldn't eat without his beloved. What if something had happened to him?

No. Fíli shook his head, folding his arms in front of his chest, as if this was able to suppress the sudden shiver running through him. Someone would've informed him, had Kíli gotten hurt or attacked... unless no one had found him so far...

From one moment to another Fíli had trouble breathing. His chest felt strangely tight, while a fire spread through his body, attempting to devour him in its heat. Fíli shook his head once again, more forcefully this time and until he started to feel dizzy. He was sweating, heartbeat scarily fast for the second time today and was just about to hurry out of the room, when there was a knock at the door.

Fíli froze. Kíli wouldn't knock. With nausea spreading through his stomach, the blond opened the door.

"Fíli," a dwarf greeted him.

"Dís," he gasped with surprise. He'd expected one of his guards or a servant, bringing him terrible news about Kíli. The way Dís was looking at him, spoke of completely different reasons for her visit, though. She didn't seem angry or disappointed, just examined him calmly, with a hint of compassion reflecting in her eyes.

Although... what if Dís was looking for Kíli, too? The brief silence of relief was easily submurged by the loud rushing of blood in his ears, as another wave of worry tried to drown him.

"I assume you just wanted to go looking for my son?" his mother-in-law said, as his she gently shoved him back into the living room and closed the door behind them.

With motherly strength he was pushed onto the couch, whereas she took a seat across from him.

"Do you know, where he is?" Fíli asked hopefully.

"In my chambers, of course. He came to me right after your fight."

Fíli sighed. The anger had disappeared a while ago and after fearing for a short time something might've happened to his consort, he didn't have the energy anymore to rekindle the fury. He just wanted to have Kíli back with him and forget about their stupid argument.

"He was quite upset," she continued.

He was surprised she wasn't scolding him by now. With the way she had started their conversation, he'd been pretty certain to face the wrath of a mother, tearing him to shreds for hurting her only child. Instead she was still meeting his gaze with such a calm demeanour, Fíli didn't know what to make of it.

"I was just trying to protect him," Fíli defended himself. "And he suddenly blew his lid."

"Fíli, you can't treat him like a bird in a gilded cage, just because you are afraid of losing him," she told him gently.

His eyes widened with shock.

"That's not what I'm trying to do!" he exclaimed. It wasn't, was it? No, he just wanted him to be a little more careful, to think of him before doing something reckless. He just... he couldn't lose him. He wouldn't be able to bear it.

"Perhaps it doesn't feel like it to you, but you need to understand that Kíli grew up in very impoverished conditions in the Iron Hills and this gave him the freedom other omegas could only dream of. He is ambitious, wants to try everything. _Can't_ doesn’t exist in his life. The months in Dáin's care were the worst experience in his life. Controlling him, even if you mean well, is only going to hurt him. He needs his freedom, Fíli, he will wither otherwise."

Fíli swallowed hard. Somehow he hadn't realised that it was fear that had caused him to lash out. He should've known better, had been with Kíli in the Iron Hills for few months and had experienced the omega's suffering first hand. How had he not realised? But then again...

"But he needs to understand that his actions won't affect only him now. They will affect me, too. I can't lose him like I lost Frerin. Just the thought is making me ill."

And indeed, he felt nauseous with fear and had to press a hand to his mouth while he tried to breathe through the panic.

"Then tell him," Dís replied softly. "Help him to understand you. Set rules you can both live with, but don't try to handle these fears on your own, it's no good and will only cause a rift between you in the long run."

Her expression was sincere as Fíli tried to process her words, wondering if they came from experience or instinct. In the end it didn't matter, though. She was right. If they weren't going to talk about it, their love for each other might sow hate into their hearts one day.

"Have you told him the same?" he asked with a small smile.

"Of course, just because he is my son, doesn't mean I can't admit when he is acting like an idiot," she laughed warmly. "Mind you, though, you haven't acted any smarter."

He chuckled.

"I guess I haven't."

Taking this as a sign for fast reconcilability, Dís nodded and got up, informing Fíli that she was going to send Kíli to him.

It didn’t take long for the brunet to return home, although he was displaying this closed off expression Fíli didn’t like at all and when he then folded his arms in front of his chest, staying at the door as if to flee shouldn’t he like what the alpha had to say, brought home to him how close his own fear had come to break them apart.

And in retrospective, really, what had he been thinking?  He knew what Kíli was capable off, had seen him shoot, even though the night before had tortured him with vomiting and cramps. He had gotten through every kind of humiliation Dáin had thrown at him and survived. He was stubborn and strong. Perhaps the strongest person Fíli had ever met. How could he forbid him to train like every other dwarf?

Fíli sighed deeply.

“I’m sorry, Kíli,” he told him softly. “I shouldn’t have interrupted your training. Shouldn’t have said the things I did. I know that the training Dwalin put you through is sensible.”

It was the same training Fíli had worked through, too. Thinking too much could cost precious seconds in a dangerous situation, not to mention that fear could be paralysing. Fighting should become a reflex and going easy on someone was never an option, since the enemy wouldn’t go easy on you either. It was an important preparation.

“Please, forgive me.”

On the other side of the room, Kíli had lowered his arms.

“Then why did you?”

He could feel his own heartbeat racing, was overwhelmed by the horrible impuissance, trying to push panicked dwarves away, but barely moving forward. Heard himself scream Frerin’s name over and over again, until his voice broke and his throat felt sore.

“Fíli?” his consort had taken a hesitant step forward, eying him worriedly.

“I saw you stumble,” he croaked, “and the way Dwalin went after you. For a moment I thought I was going to lose you, just like I lost Frerin.” Kíli’s form began to blur. “I can’t go through that again. I’m not strong enough,” he whispered.

Just when he wiped over his eyes erratically, Kíli was suddenly beside him, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. Fíli could’ve sobbed at the warmth and love directed at him, had his throat not still felt so tight with the image of fear in his mind.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m here,” Kíli murmured gently.

Fíli shut his lids tightly, breathing laboriously through the wave of anxiety, while finding comfort in Kíli’s embrace. It took longer than he would’ve liked, but at last the trembling left and the lump in his throat disappeared.

“What can I do?” Kíli asked eventually, sounding so young and lost Fíli couldn’t suppress the little stab of guilt wandering through his chest.

“There isn’t much, to be honest, this fear will probably always stay with me.”

“However small it might be, I want to help you,” Kíli insisted.

Fíli smiled. This was how he’d come to know him. Brave and fierce.

“Just… think of us and what we have before doing anything reckless, all right?” he asked him.

“Of course,” Kíli exhaled into his hair. “I promise.”

Afterwards Fíli apologised once again, with Kíli accepting it immediately. The incident made them realise that they had never really talked about this topic. They had still so much to learn about the other, but they made good of this mistake to talk about their experiences, helping each other understand.

 

 


	8. The Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so very sorry for the long delay. I'm feeling extremely blocked at the moment and can't promise that the next will come any sooner, although, of course I'm going to try.
> 
> This chapter is for [waterlilyblue](http://archiveofourown.org/users/waterlilyblue), [karebear119](http://archiveofourown.org/users/karebear119), [enrapturedreader](http://archiveofourown.org/users/enrapturedreader) and [Eldariel84](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Eldariel84/pseuds/Eldariel84)

 

 

Fíli opened the small treasure box with a wistful smile. Every small present, whether ring, bead, throwing axe Frerin had ever gifted him with, was kept in the little wooden box, save for the beads symbolizing their courtship and future marriage. Even though Fíli hadn’t been wearing them anymore, since his proposal to Kíli, he’d still carried them with him. A tiny reminder of his first love. But it was finally time to put this chapter of his life completely behind him. He was about to spent the rest of his life with Kíli, beginning with the wedding today.

Frerin was always going to stay in his heart. The time of grief was over, though.

Carefully Fíli bedded Frerin’s beads in the box, wrapped in a cloth as soft as velvet. One of his fingers wandering over the blade of the axe, before he tore his eyes away, closing the box. After storing it away in one of the drawers of his desk, Fíli heaved a deep sigh. He felt lighter, ready for the next step and enjoyed the little bubble of excitement mixed with nervousness inside of him. For the umpteenth time he tried to smoothen out his tunic, to him it seemed as if he always missed at least one crease.

There was a knock at the door just a moment later and Thorin stepped into Fíli’s study, a crown on his head and a proud smile adorning his lips.

“It’s time, Fíli. Are you ready?”

The blond exhaled a shaky breath.

“Aye, I’m… I’m just…”

Thorin nodded.

“I understand. On your omega-father’s and my wedding day, I was so nervous I tripped on the last steps of the stairs.”

Fíli’s lids went comically wide. He’d never heard that story before, hadn’t even thought of asking about it – there had been other things far more interesting fuelling his curiosity.

“You tripped?” he gasped with disbelief.

“Fell all the way down,” Thorin confirmed with a chuckle. “I held his hand with sprained fingers and tried to look like everything was fine, while they hurt and were all red and swollen.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at his father’s misfortune.

“Why have I never heard that story?”

“Probably because it wasn’t very befitting for a prince of Erebor,” Thorin replied with a smile. “So just don’t try to trip and you will be fine.”

“I will try.”

“I’m so very proud of you,” his father said, pressing their foreheads together in a gesture of tenderness and love. “Fear not, my son. You love Kíli and he loves you, today we will only celebrate it, you know already everything you need.”

“Thank you,” Fíli breathed, warmth and calm settling in his chest, as Thorin nodded against his brow.

“It’s time,” the king told him, stepping backwards.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

To say Kíli was nervous would be a huge understatement. He was terrified. The whole of Erebor would watch the ceremony, after all. As far as the brunet had heard everyone was looking forward to the days of celebration following afterwards, a time of music and dancing and festivities in general. Never had so many people stared at him. Kíli was so scared of messing up his lines or tripping on the way to the altar, he could barely think straight. That his father had refused to lead him to Fíli was therefore his least problem.

“Try to breathe, my darling. It will be all right,” Dís’ attempts to reassure him had begun failing a while ago.

Kíli swallowed with difficulty, feeling poorly prepared for what would await him outside of these chambers. Other dwarves in this situation had friends and family that wouldn’t stop fawning and happily applied the henna paste onto his arms and cheek. Kíli barely had anyone here. Yesterday Dís had taken care of the elaborate designs covering his hands and of which he just couldn’t get used to, but that had been it. Not even his father had visited. He felt so utterly alone in this.

“How did you do it, when you married ′adad?” he asked, desperately hoping for some sort advice that would help him to get through this day without embarrassing himself, Fíli and the whole kingdom. Perhaps he was exaggerating, but he really didn’t think he could do it. Couldn’t he just live as Fíli’s spouse without going through all of this?

Oh Mahal, someone needed to save him…

“I wasn’t a princess anymore when I married your father,” his mother reminded him not unkindly.

He was about to ruffle a hand through his hair, but his mother caught it before it could ruin the braids. Kíli began to tremble, overwhelmed by the expectations resting on his shoulders. He had no idea how nobility worked, how was he supposed to act like royalty?

“What if I bring shame to every dwarf out there?” he blurted out hoarsely.

Still holding one of his hands, his mother reached for the other one and squeezed them gently. In her dark eyes he found so much trust only mothers could have in their child. His knees still felt weak and he was flooded by the urge to flee.

“You won’t. You are a wonderful young lad and I’m proud to call you my son. You will do just fine. Being nervous is normal, but I will be with you and when it’s time to part ways, Fíli will be with you. You are not alone,” she told him confidently.

“But what if I mess up my lines?” he asked desperately, locking their gazes and trying to make her understand his fears.

“You know your lines.”

“I’m not sure anymore,” he confessed meekly.

Dís smiled reassuringly at him.

“You know them. You practised them day and night.”

Of course she was right. Kíli had whispered them for days under his breath, had recited them to Fíli, Dwalin, Dís, his teacher… even Thorin, despite all of that work, though, the words felt lost in the void that was his mind right now. Opening his mouth to protest once again, Kíli shut it with a snap when a knock at the door announced a guard, reminding them that it was time for the ceremony. Kíli blanched, every chance to escape was lost now.

Dís gave his hands one last squeeze, before she loosened her hold and gently pushed him towards the door. Without her soft strength Kíli might have remained rooted to the spot in his chamber forever.

Guards lined the hallways to the stairs leading into the wide main hall, the place were usually news were blazon abroad. Even though his mother accompanied him the whole way down, as it was tradition for a parent to give their child to the intended, Kíli was still shaking with nerves. Trying to silence his rapidly pounding heartbeat, wiping his sweaty palms off on his trousers, he desperately wanted to focus only on getting down the stairs without trouble – the long cloak acting like the perfect tripping hazard – but couldn’t lure his mind away from what was expecting him down there.

Fíli was already waiting for him, the dark blue of the expensive clothes merely accentuating his majestic appearance. Despite seeing him quite often dressed in striking garments, it was the first time Kíli glanced at the ceremonial gowns like this. It was this moment Kíli caught a glance at the prince Fíli was. The fine tunic, the richly ornamented belt, holding an elaborately forged dagger, the long cloak and the crown on his head… right until this moment Kíli hadn’t truly understood what would await him as Fíli’s spouse. The thought scared him as he looked at the graceful figure waiting for him beside the king.

If it hadn’t been for Fíli’s wide smile he displayed at spotting the brunet, Kíli might’ve turned on the spot, trying to flee from this terrifying situation.

Dís gave him one last gentle push, when her son glanced at her hesitantly, urging him to reach for the outstretched hand, painted with the same henna paste covering the omega’s and wandering up his arm, where it disappeared under the tunic. It was reaching up to his shoulder, designs that intertwined and meandered like a piece of art.

Kíli wiped his sweaty palms off one more time, before slowly taking Fíli’s hand, who didn’t waste a second but intertwined their fingers, causing the designs to change, slotting together as if their whole purpose was to display that their holders would from now on be seen as one, bonded for life. And perhaps this truly was the nature of this tradition, signalling the transition of _I_ to _we_. It might have been one of those things he hadn’t really listened to, when they were explained to him, drowned by the growing nervousness. Now that he saw how the designs seemed to bind them together, though, he couldn’t help but gaze at them with fascination. Wondering how different people could attach them and still make them merge so beautifully.

A light squeeze at his hand yanked him out of his thoughts, just in the time for the bugle to echo through the hall, giving the prince and his intended the sign to step forward.

His hand clung to Fili’s with the force of a vice, when they started moving.

“Shh, it’s all right. I’m here with you,” Fíli murmured, leaning closer so his voice wouldn’t be lost among the crowd’s cheering.

It erupted as soon as they rounded the corner and got into plain view. His knees buckled, but somehow he kept going, all the way through the passageway, lined by guards. He couldn’t say if it was Fíli’s presence keeping him upright or his own pride forbidding him to faint, perhaps though, it was the love for the blond guiding him, wanting to prove his love and to leave no doubt that the man at his side was his One.

His father gave him a nod, once they reached the end of the crowd, the only acknowledgement he received from the dwarf he’d loved so dearly as a child. Now he felt like a stranger. Kíli had made his peace with it long ago, still, on a day like this, which child didn’t wish for the support of both of their parents?

The brunet’s thoughts were soon turned to fairly more important matters, as they stepped in front of an old man, a cleric and a spokesman of Mahal, or so he’d claimed when talking to them the first time.

He urged the two young dwarves to face each other, holding both of their hands and causing the designs to take on another beautiful form. Kíli almost believed to have overcome his fear, when the cleric raised his arms and everyone in the hall suddenly went silent. It was such a strange alteration, the cheering didn’t fade away slowly, it stopped abruptly, making him aware once more that every single one of those people would hear if he messed up his lines.

He barely heard what the cleric said, only felt himself shaking and tried to calm his rapid heartbeat. Not one of his attempts was crowned with success, though, which simply increased the panic slowly taking a hold of him. If it hadn’t been for Fili, squeezing his hands once more, he would’ve missed his cue.

His fearful gaze met warm, blue eyes, offering so much comfort through a single glance, Kíli could barely believe his luck. Swallowing hard, he began, the lines rolling from his tongue. Only once did he come to a standstill, but the soft pressure at his fingers filled him with the reassurance of love, helping him to continue. Fíli’s words, in turn, washed over him like fresh water of a mountain spring on a hot day, cool and soothing and reviving his tired spirit.

“In the name of Mahal, I declare you: One!” the cleric proclaimed solemnly.

And when their lips met for a gentle kiss, the storm in Kíli’s mind died completely, filling him with calm and the feeling of belonging. It was a feeling he’d only experienced through Fíli’s presence before and although his new husband was looking at him right now, it was more intense, sank into the deepest parts of his being and aroused the sensation of entirety within him.

He blinked, confused, but noticed with surprise that he was no longer sweating, his heartbeat had returned to its normal pace and the shaking had vanished completely.

“I know,” Fíli whispered. “I feel it, too.”

It wasn’t until then that Kíli realised he shouldn’t have been able to hear the quiet words, as he became aware of the reawakened cheering of the crowd, joined this time by clapping and stomping. It was the moment Kíli truly understood the reality of soulbonds.

 

 


	9. Freedom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for [Ruairi](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruairi/pseuds/Ruairi), who asked for Kíli enjoying some freedom on his own. I hope it turned out to your liking!

 

 

It was his first week in Erebor and Kíli had already seen more than he could comprehend. Fíli had given him a tour through enormous halls, long hallways and busy streets. There were the markets, the huge forge, the throne room and so many other places, making him dizzy with all the craftsmanship he laid eyes on. Even though he was now living in this mountain, it still felt surreal, like a dream he would soon awake from.

Suddenly guards were bowing when he passed them and in the expressions of so many people Kíli was able to read reverence. It was an odd sensation. He was nobody, a simple dwarf born into a banished line, lucky enough to win the heart of a prince. Perhaps this was the reason behind the unfamiliar respect; he was going to marry the prince soon.

This had to be all they cared about, his future title. Kíli sighed, yes, this sounded more likely and he couldn’t figure out if he preferred it. Today seemed to be a difficult day.

Fíli had duties to attend, leaving Kíli alone in their chambers. His mother and father were still on the road to Erebor and he’d actually wanted to visit the aviary, to see if a raven had returned, bringing him news of his parent’s journey, but Fíli wasn’t here with him and so there was no one to accompany him. Of course Fíli had shown him the way and the brunet was pretty sure to find the aviary without him, however, in the Iron Hills he hadn’t been allowed to go anywhere on his own and despite Fíli’s great stories of Erebor, Kíli had a hard time believing him. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Fíli’s word, he just didn’t trust the alphas under his command.

And so the time passed slowly and when lunch was served, Kíli was expecting to go insane with boredom any second. Sure, there were books he could read, but his reading skills weren’t great and the only thing on his mind was the safe journey of his parent’s and therefore the concentration, to focus on anything that involved more than lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling, was hard to be found.

Lunch on his own reminded him furthermore of the weeks in Dáin’s care. Every so often Dwalin might have kept him company, but before Dwalin had become his bodyguard and after Fíli’s arrival, mealtimes had always been lonely. He shuddered at the thought, shoving the plate to the other side of the table, suddenly feeling nauseous. Kíli knew the food was great, the old memories linked with the prospect of spending days like he did in the Iron Hills, though, felt wrong and abnormal.

Shaking his head vigorously, Kíli cursed. What, in Mahal’s name, was wrong with him? He wasn’t Dáin’s puppet any longer. He was free. Of course he would never escape royalty because of Fíli, but he wasn’t a prisoner. When did he become such a coward? Hiding in his room instead of going out and doing what he wanted. Kíli had fought harder against Dáin than he was now against his ridiculous fears.

He got up, reached for his boots, put them on and he hurried out of the chambers, ere the current defiance was able to cease.

“Master Kíli,” a voice made him freeze, before he could take more than one step away from the door.

Kíli swallowed hard, gaze turning to the guard that was studying him vigilantly. The omega’s body felt tense, heartbeat speeding up as he waited for the man to order him to get back inside.

“Can I help you?” the dwarf bowed his head respectfully, although it didn’t help to dispel the fright gripping his innards.

Swallowing audibly once again, the tightness in his throat increasing, Kíli tried to find his voice. “I wanted to see if a letter for me has arrived at the aviary.”

“Do you want me to accompany you?”

The other wasn’t sounding rhetorical, as if implying that the answer was obvious and both of them were merely aiming to exchange the established phrases of civility. But perhaps KílI’s scared mind was only imagining the sincerity in the guard’s voice.

“No,” Kíli almost choked on the word. If this ended badly he needed to relearn how to silence his vulnerability again. Had to reach for the safety of anger to protect himself. “That won’t be necessary.” Words he’d heard Fíli say in a similar situation, hoping for them to be a respectful choice.

Not more than a couple of heartbeats could’ve followed his reply, but to Kíli it felt like an eternity until the man bowed his head once more.

“Very well.”

Kíli’s knees almost wanted to give out with relief, as he watched the dwarf returning to his post.

The way to the aviary was covered quickly, giving his heart a different reason for the fast rhythm and stopping his mind from going haywire.

The guard had accepted his wishes, hadn’t become angry or tried to ridicule him. Bowing his head, allowing him to pass, not once attempting to change his mind… perhaps… perhaps he could truly begin to believe things would be better here…

Reaching the aviary, it turned out there was indeed a letter by his mother waiting for him, speaking of a safe journey so far and an arrival in just a week. It was perfect timing for the wedding preparations. Kíli felt lighter as he climbed down the stairs, back to the main hall. His parents would be here soon. Dwalin had offered to train him after the wedding, Fíli enjoyed his company – just like the other way round – and Thorin seemed to be happy with him, all of this, along with the respectful guard, surged an unfamiliar strength through his limbs. Humming contentedly, Kíli jumped the last steps down and found himself with lots of spare time, until his friend and beloved would come home again.

Home. It was strange how easily the thought crossed his mind, considering that he wasn’t living in Erebor for very long, but it felt right and filled him with warmth.

And so Kíli decided to explore the mountain on his own. He passed a cosy looking shop, selling sweets. The owner must’ve seen him, when he had arrived with Fíli a week ago, since she immediately asked him to come in, as soon as she spotted him outside. Because the preparations for the wedding had to be finished in just a month, there hadn’t been the time for huge announcements and only a document had been read aloud, inviting every citizen to the ceremony that would unite Erebor and the Iron Hills forever.

The dwarrowdam was kind, almost motherly, offering him sweets to taste and eager to hear his opinion. Not even informing her that he hadn’t thought of taking any money with him could sway her. Obviously she was going to prepare some especially for the wedding and was happy to learn what he liked best. While she was feeding him all kinds of delicious sweets, she praised Fíli and the king, also making him taste what she knew to be their favourites. And so they talked, had tea and she was smiling so brightly, whenever he complimented her treats that Kíli simply couldn’t say no, when she asked him to taste _just one more_ and _only this one_ and _oh, please, this is the last, I promise_ ; _this is really it_ , _just one more._

By the time he left, he felt so full and never wanted to eat anything sugary every again. Which was a lie, of course, Kíli had an extremely sweet tooth that had never been satisfied before today, due to their poor life, and probably wouldn’t know what to choose after the ceremony, if only half of the things were offered he’d eaten today.

Looking for a quiet place, Kíli sat down, leaning against a pillar. He couldn’t take a digestive nap, but hoped a little rest would at least be of some help. He didn’t want to have Fíli eat dinner on his own in the evening.

His eyes began to follow the few dwarves passing by. It seemed to be a quiet day or perhaps he had just taken a seat in a quiet area. Exploring hadn’t worked out so well, but he couldn’t say he minded after spending so much time with the kind and enthusiastic confectioner.

And so he began studying the ornaments decorating the walls and pillars, drowning in their beauty and feeling in awe. This place was so different compared to the Iron Hills, in more ways than one. The whole mountain seemed to be a piece of art. It was unique.

It took a while until he felt less heavy and considered returning to their chambers. That was until Dwalin spotted him passing the training grounds and asked him to show off his archery skills to the young students.

 

 


	10. Returned (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this update took so long again. This time it's not the block, but preparing for FiKi week and writing on another piece for after that time and I've seriously no idea, how to schedule everything I want to write right now.

 

 

Yrsa’s little hands reached for the plate with apple slices, but Kíli held her firmly in his lap, one arm slung around her middle. He would take one of the pieces and put it into her small fingers and if there wasn’t anything more interesting in this foreign room in the Iron Hills, she would munch at it happily. In the beginning Fíli hadn’t wanted to take his mate and daughter with him to the place that contained so many bad memories, but had relented after Thorin and Kíli had both talked insistently. Dáin had furthermore asked to meet his grand-niece and future queen of Erebor.

Fíli had to admit that Dáin had changed over the last years. Thorin’s appearance at the end of the courtship feast had shaken him, the possibility of losing his alliance with Erebor had gotten him thinking. In Fíli’s opinion realisation had hit him too late. He had apologised and Thorin had accepted it, even Kíli seemed like he wanted to let go of his grudge, otherwise he probably wouldn’t have taken Yrsa to the Iron Hills, but Fíli wouldn’t forgive him so soon. Still, they were allies and contacts like that needed to be strengthen regularly and here they were.

After getting dressed for a meeting with Dáin, Fíli couldn’t help but take the time to watch Kíli and their daughter fondly. Sometimes it seemed so surreal that they were truly married, that they had a child, that they were happy. With a smile he walked over to them, kissing Yrsa’s chubby cheek and causing her to squeal with laughter as his beard tickled her.

“Be a good girl while I’m out,” Fíli told her softly, grinning at that wide sticky smile she gifted him.

Kíli smiled warmly at him, as Fíli afterwards leaned in to catch his love's lips in a tender kiss.

“Have a great day,” he said, pressing their foreheads briefly together, inhaling Kíli’s unique scent.

“We will,” his consort assured him, before the blond had to set off.

Waving them goodbye, Fíli left the chambers. Walking through hallways again, he once was supposed to escort Kíli through, felt weird in a way he couldn't quite describe. Not very nostalgic, rather threatening. Now that Fíli came to think of it, it was strangely quiet. Not the quietness of an empty palace, but a deserted voice, as if all life had been banned from this place. A shiver went down his spine and if he didn't know Dwalin would keep guard over his spouse and daughter, the prince would've turned on the spot and made sure they were alright.

He found his gut instinct confirmed, when he soon came to a fork that should be guarded. Instead of two dwarves standing there, however, he only discovered their crumbled forms on the ground. Eying his surroundings warily Fíli hurried over to them, feeling for a pulse. One was weak, barely holding on to life, while the other, regardless how much he pressed his fingers in the spot at the neck, couldn't be found. He closed his lids with a heavy heart for a brief second.

What was going on here? Where they under attack? There should be a big commotion if this was the case. Or was this an attack on Dáin and the royal line?

He felt ice-cold. He had to get back to Kíli!

And still he hesitated, gaze wandering to the injured guard. Leaving that man to die here was out of question, but his limbs were shaking with his worry for Kíli and Yrsa. Fíli tried to reassure himself. Dwalin was there, an experienced warrior and Kíli knew how to defend himself as well, all the years of training shaping him into an amazing fighter. Still, these guards were trained for years as well and they hadn't been able to fight off whoever had attacked them, unless the ambush was perfidious. To get to Kíli they would've to enter the chambers and Dwalin would've an eye on the door. They couldn't get in unseen.

Fíli cursed as reason won over his desire to protect his loved ones and began searching for the wound slowly killing the man in front of him. He found a blade, still embedded in the dwarf's side. It was certainly better to leave it in, it would suppress the blood flow. Getting out of his coat, he wound it around the man's body, steadying the knife. The dwarf groaned as Fíli knotted the makeshift bandage firmly.

Immediately the blond leaned over him, waiting for glazed over, blinking eyes to focus.

"Hey, can you hear me?" Fíli asked him softly.

When a hand wandered reflexively to the side, he reached for it, grasping it before it could touch the weapon and gently guiding the fingers back to the ground.

"Don't," Fíli said. "You have been wounded. The knife in your side is suppressing the blood flow, don't pull it out or you might bleed to death."

The dwarf groaned once more, but didn't try to reach for the blade again. With the helmet on the other's head, Fíli had no way of guessing the age of the dwarf, but the short beard spoke of a lad. He swallowed hard, hoping to keep the knife in was the right decision and that he would hold on until help arrived.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Fíli asked slowly.

"We-," the other's breath was laborious, "we were attacked. I... I heard something... wanted... wanted to check..." The dwarf's eyes widened all of a sudden. Was it understanding? Was he remembering something crucial? "Wa- watch- out!"

The pain burying itself deep in Fíli's back pushed the breath from his lung, causing him to gasp helplessly, while every little movement shot another wave of agony through his body.

"Didn't I tell you, you were going to pay?" a voice sneered next to his ear.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

"No!" Kíli breathed, barely believing his ears as a guard entered the room, informing him and Dwalin that Fíli had been attacked and grievously injured. There was no way to deny it, though. The guards would be doubled, the Iron Hills combed for the culprit, but it all seemed to wash over him. All that mattered was Fíli.

They didn't know if he would survive. Óin and a big group of healers were working on him, but if it would be enough only time would tell. His hearing seemed to have been reduced, thoughts roaring through his mind. He couldn't go through this again. It seemed like every time they were in the Iron Hills together he had to face the possibility of losing Fíli. He already had to watch Fíli almost bleed to death and now was faced with it again. This couldn't be happening. He couldn't lose Fíli now. Not now. Not with Yrsa still so little that she would barely remember her father while growing up, if they were to lose him. Not with...

Strong arms were shoved under his shoulders, keeping him upright as his trembling legs suddenly tried to give out under him. Dwalin barked something at the guard, but Kíli couldn't make out a word of it. Simply watched the man go and let himself be guided to the couch, where he sat, breathing too rapidly and shallow. Kíli was nauseous, his heart pounding as if it wanted to shatter his ribcage. How could his heart even continue beating as he felt it breaking?

"I need you to calm down," Dwalin addressed him, rubbing one of his arms gently.

Kíli hardly felt it. How was he supposed to calm down? Someone had attacked Fíli. Someone might have killed his husband, someone... someone might have taken from him what he loved the most. How was he supposed to raise Yrsa on his own? Shape her into a queen, when he had no idea what she would need to know? Mahal, he hadn't really grasped yet what it meant to be a prince. Of course there was his mother and Thorin, but that wasn't soothing the fear insight him in the slightest. Fíli wouldn't be with him when...

"Think of Yrsa! Think of Fíli! You can't lose it right now! They both need you. Fíli isn't dead yet, he is fighting. Don't give up on him, when he hasn't!" the warrior snapped at him.

The panic was silenced by Dwalin's harsh words for just a second. It was enough to remind him that not all was lost yet. Blinking against the tears, Kíli tried to even his breathing, inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. It calmed his heartbeat, the nausea, however, stayed.

"I don't know what to do," he admitted, his voice no more than a croaked whisper.

"You go and take care of your daughter, when she wakes up from her nap. I will order a servant to keep us updated on Fíli's condition and when the healers are done, I will ensure you can see him."

Kíli swallowed audibly, but nodded, unable to reply. Dwalin was right. He needed to be strong for his daughter. She was only four, extremely young for dwarves, and wouldn't understand what was going on. He needed to keep her calm and happy, no mourning before it wasn't necessary.

With another deep breath to compose himself Kíli got up, ignoring the brief wave of dizziness hitting him. Luckily it was over after the first two staggering steps, still, he could feel Dwalin hovering at his side. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the guard shoot him a suspicious glance, but Kíli didn't feel like answering and Dwalin didn't press.

In the next room Yrsa was sleeping as if not even the end of the world could wake her. Her little head nearly disappeared between blankets and pillows. In the huge bed she looked smaller and Kíli was suddenly reminded of the day she was born. He had been afraid to touch that tiny baby, fearing he might hurt her, but Fíli and the midwife had reassured and helped him to hold her for the first time.

Fíli... there was so much of Fíli in their little girl. The curly form of her hair, even though it was dark like Kíli's, the colour of her eyes, the region of her mouth, she even frowned in the same way like her father, when she was upset. Kíli was so happy to have their little treasure in his life. The knowledge that Yrsa would end up forgetting Fíli, should the worst case occur, hurt almost as much as the thought of losing his love.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

By the time Dáin entered his chambers, Yrsa was already up and playing with some building blocks. Dwalin was her loyal assistant, able to gift her smiles and praise so much easier than Kíli at the moment. He had tried to play with her in the beginning, but the unhappy way she had whined shortly in their game showed him, that his half-hearted attempts to play with her weren't appreciated. Now she was squealing with laughter, pointing to the ceiling and ordering Dwalin with "Up! Up!" to build the small tower the warrior was creating higher and higher.

The serious expression of the king softened as he spotted Yrsa's happy face. Kíli was once more glad Dáin had changed over the years, had become less angry and bitter and a lot kinder, when dealing with the dwarves that weren't alphas. He hadn't changed the traditions, but he had become lenient and more understanding. It was more than Kíli had hoped for during the courtship feast. And he had reversed Dwalin’s banishment, that had to count for something as well.

The smile on his features didn't stay for long and slipped instantly when his eyes turned to Kíli. Nodding at Dwalin in a silent form of greeting, Dáin took a seat on a chair beside Kíli.

"There are news," the king began, keeping his voice low, so Yrsa playing at the other end of the room wouldn't hear anything of their conversation. "One of my guards has been killed and another one injured. The latter has been treated and could inform me about the events. It seems that Fíli found him and was trying to help when he was attacked."

The king's words dispelled the exhaustion from Kíli's body, causing the omega to feel wide awake and waiting nervously for the other to continue.

"He identified Arik as the attacker."

"Wait, the Arik from the courtship feast?" he exclaimed, loud enough for Dwalin's and Yrsa's heads to turn into his direction.

"Keep your voice down!" Dáin hissed at him.

Kíli lowered his head, ashamed for his inappropriate reaction. He might be allowed to be shocked, but Yrsa was with him in the room and he was at the Iron Hills. Regardless how much Dáin had changed, Kíli was still an omega and therefore a lesser person. He needed to do better, behave like it was expected of him, relying on Fíli to help him wouldn't always work, especially now, with the possibility of losing him.

At least Yrsa was easily distracted again, whereas Dwalin's eyes darted to them then and again.

"Are there information about his whereabouts?" the brunet asked, swallowing hard. Wasn't it already enough that Arik deceived him during the courtship feast for something as trivial as gold in exchange for the future of a dwarf he didn't even know, but did he have to murder his spouse now as well?

Kíli cursed himself. Fíli wasn't dead yet, he needed to stop thinking as if his fate was sealed already.

"He isn't with his family, although I assume they are covering up for him. I heard rumours that he was spotted by the mines and I will have my men search every corner, but these parts of the kingdom are copious, I'm not confident that we will capture him in time," Dáin replied grimly.

He frowned.

"In time for what?"

"Arik will travel to the Blue Mountains to expand the trade. He wasn't supposed to depart for another two months, but I fear, given the circumstances, he will try to leave as soon as possible and once he crossed the borders, there is nothing I can do until his return and I doubt he will return."

Staring at the king in disbelief, Kíli slowly shook his head. This couldn't be happening.

"I will do everything in my powers to arrest him. The guards have been doubled everywhere. He can't get out so easily."

But what if Arik had help? What if he had bribed some of the guards or one of the poor? There were many people ready to murder their family for a little wealth, what would the life of a prince mean to them? Certainly not enough to refuse gold. Furthermore, Dáin's guards, men of noble families, lived and trained in different parts of the kingdom, they had barely been to the region near the mines, didn't know of its hiding spots or who to turn to for information, didn't know which hallways were still traversable despite the warning of a risk of collapse. Just like Kíli hadn't known to navigate in the royal wing and its surrounding areas in the beginning, the guards would be lost there. The poor had been left alone for too long, the men, responsible for their safety always one step too late, with too little posts and hardly any patrols. No... the poor guarded their secrets. Arik would have no trouble escaping.

“Until then," Dáin interrupted his resigned thoughts, "the healers have finished their work and think that if Fíli survives the night, his chances of recovery will have increased immensely. You should go to him, either for a brief visit or to stay the night. Having you close will help him."

Kíli nodded mechanically, hardly listening to the king. His mind was drowning in a wave of emotions he couldn't quite discern. Dáin's guards were going to fail... they didn't know these parts of the Iron Hills well enough... but Kíli did.

"Yes. I'm sure Balin wouldn't mind taking care of Yrsa for the night," Kíli murmured, more to himself than the king, but Dáin nodded nonetheless, obviously pleased with his insight.

 

 


	11. Returned (Part 2)

 

 

It took him about an hour, until everything was sorted out. Balin gladly welcomed Yrsa with a mixture of joy and sadness, knowing very well that if it hadn't been for Fíli's condition, he wouldn't baybsit the little girl right now. Kíli hugged his daughter tightly, kissing her brow and praying he was going to see her again. She didn't know what was going on, but must've sensed something, for she began crying as soon as Kíli turned to leave. A lump was suddenly sitting in his throat, threatening to choke him with emotions, while he blinked against the burning in his eyes. His heart broke as she cried for him, was aware that her small hands must be reaching for him right now, her flailing body only held by Balin. He wanted to turn around, wanted to soothe her, hug her, promise her he was never going to leave her.

But then he thought of Fíli, took a deep breath and forced himself to keep walking. Dwalin squeezed his shoulder reassuringly, noticing how much the separation got to him, not questioning his reaction. Probably reasoning it had to be because of the first time they were going to spent more than just a few hours apart and was most likely seeing the bow, Kíli carried on his back, as the brunet's increased fear for his safety.

Kíli swallowed hard, his plan might be foolish, but he couldn't sit around and do nothing, knowing Arik was going to escape. His worry for Fíli had slightly lessened, as his intention to capture the prince's attacker took shape.

Óin awaited them at the door to the room Fíli had been placed in, informing them quietly about the blond's condition.

"So far he's stable. I will pray to Mahal that it stays like that."

Nodding, Kíli stared at the door, his heart pounding furiously in his chest and sending trembles through his body. It made him nauseous, causing him to press a hand to his mouth as he fought for control.

"Are you all right?" Óin addressed him worriedly.

Inhaling deeply for a couple of times, his stomach thankfully seemed to settle.

"Aye, I... I felt just... overwhelmed for a second."

The healer frowned at his downplay of the situation.

"Are you sure it isn't because-"

"Yes, I'm fine," Kíli interrupted him harshly. He couldn't afford Óin's worry right now, he knew the old dwarf meant well, the omega had a goal, though and he wouldn't allow anything to stop him.

The other was obviously displeased and seemed more than a little aggrieved. Kíli ignored it, aware that if he apologised, he would give Óin an opening to change his mind and the brunet wasn't sure if he could truly continue with his plan, if he was reminded of the possible consequences. At the moment he needed to focus. Fíli deserved justice and wouldn't receive it if this disgusting snake was able to flee.

Without exchanging another word, Kíli stepped into the sickroom. Immediately he was hit by the smell of ointments, herbs and a distinctive metallic scent. The queasy feeling returned to his stomach as it turned with understanding. Blood.

Fíli was lying on his stomach in a small bed. A pillow had been shoved under his neck, probably to prop it, while metres and metres of long white bandages wrapped his back. The fire in the room was burning brightly, driving sweat to Kíli's skin and explaining why a thin blanket had only been pulled up to Fíli's waist. Perhaps to allow the healers one step less to reach the wound should there be complications. Kíli shivered. He didn't even want to think about it.

In the dim lit room, with the fire as the only source of light, Kíli pulled a chair over to Fíli's bedside. The sight of the blond's too still body far too familiar. Even though his expression was relaxed in his unconsciousness, his face was sickly pale and his hand felt cold despite the warmth of the room, when Kíli took it. It was limp and regardless how long he rubbed gentle circles into the flesh with his thumb, Fíli stayed unresponsive.

He wouldn't open his eyes, gazing at him in silent adoration, wouldn't smile at him nor whisper his name with tenderness. Fíli was cold and hurt and fighting, standing at the brink of death, because one of Kíli's former suitors wanted revenge, for something as ridiculous as a punch fifteen years ago. This was insane, seemed even sicker than Dáin's behaviour back then.

Kíli blinked against the tears, but failed. Leaning forward to press their foreheads together with difficulty, he stroked Fíli’s hair as he closed his lids to fight against the despair descending on him. If this disgusting dwarf managed to get away without punishment, Kíli wasn't sure if he could look Fíli in the eyes again. This was his fault, after all. His suitor. If it hadn't been for Kíli and the courtship feast Fíli would've never met him, would've never felt like defending his honour with a blow, when Arik began uttering his true opinion.

"He will pay," the brunet croaked. "I promise."

Fíli didn't move, still void of any reaction, simply breathing and holding on. That was truly all Kíli could ask for.

Taking a deep breath, Kíli broke their closeness, wiped the tears from his cheeks and set to work with shaking fingers. At first he removed the beads, unscrambling the braids, then took off the outer layers of his clothing, the tunic embellished with the signs of royalty would be too conspicuous, the undershirt looked surprisingly plain in contrast. The rings followed, as well as the belt – the ties had to suffice. Fastening them in a tight knot, until they cut into his flesh, Kíli hesitated already as he bent over to reach for his bow.

He swallowed. Once. Twice. Suddenly rethinking his decision. Was he doing the right thing? Shouldn't he simply ask to accompany the search party? Kíli soon disregarded the thought, shaking his head vigorously. No, some things might have changed here, but he was still an omega and the king wouldn't allow his involvement, and if it wasn't the way he was born, then it would be his status as the prince consort, forbidding the king to take any risks regarding his wellbeing. Let alone that Óin was going to protest fiercely if Kíli merely implied his desire to help.

No, he was on his own. Kíli loosened the knot a little, rubbing thoughtfully at the red welts the brief moment with the too tight ties had created on his skin, until he took another deep breath, bent down completely this time and shouldered his bow. His gaze wandered to Fíli, feeling torn for a moment between staying with his beloved and following his plan, but in the end he kissed him tenderly on the brow and headed for the door.

Peering through the ajar door at first, Kíli spotted Dwalin and Óin instantly. Their backs were turned to the door, lost in a conversation that washed over him. None of their words were making sense as his rapidly pounding heartbeat reverberated in his ears. If they noticed him, Dwalin wouldn't keep him out of his side for the remaining weeks of their stay. Kíli needed to be careful, they couldn't see him.

Slowly he slipped through the door, gaze glued to the dwarves. Thankfully, because of removing belt and beads, there wasn't anything that could clatter treacherously, bow and quiver were the only objects able to produce a sound, but those could be avoided with moving cautiously, whereas his steps were drowned by the voices of the others.

Finally outside Kíli turned towards the servants’ paths, assuming that the main access points to the royal wings had to be guarded heavily. The servants, however, had to get in and out quickly and perhaps checks there would be lax, if they existed at all. The prince consort didn't know which was the usual procedure at an occurring of the current circumstances, but hoped his plan wouldn't fail before it had even begun.

He never reached the first checkpoint, for a hand grabbed him by the scruff and pulled him backwards. Kíli struggled on instinct, fighting his attacker, but the other was faster, stopping his blow and pressing him, face forward, against the wall, not before he was able to catch a glimpse at the other, though.

"Let me go, Dwalin!" he demanded.

"What were you thinking? Sneaking off like that? We thought someone had kidnapped you while we were distracted."

With one arm secured to his back, the brunet couldn't even squirm without hurting himself.

"I need to do this!"

"You need to go back to your One and stay safe! What am I supposed to tell Fíli, when he wakes up, just to learn that you had died in the meantime?"

"I won't die," Kíli argued, not mentioning that this possibility had crossed his mind was well.

"If you think that, you are more careless than I thought!" Dwalin barked, voice echoing from the walls and causing Kíli to flinch. Hopefully no one came running here, startled by the noise, finding him detained by his own guard. It would be humiliating, just like all those other times.

This shouldn't be happening. He thought the days he was treated like a worm were over, but here they were, Dwalin pinning him to the wall like some filthy criminal. Fíli was suffering in the sickroom, for Mahal's sake! He should be allowed to bring justice to his family, instead he couldn't even fight the bigger dwarf off.

Kíli swallowed.

"I order you to let go off me," he said very carefully, heart pounding like a war drum in his chest.

"I don't think so, laddie. You will go back to-"

"I shouldn't have to beg you!" Kíli exclaimed, close to tears now. His chest felt too tight and his vision became slightly blurry. He was already able to see it, his life taken from him again, caged like an animal. Always an omega. Always the dirt under other people's boots.

Behind him Dwalin cursed, releasing him and taking a step back just a heartbeat later.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to- I was worried- and I- I'm sorry," the guard stammered.

He helped Kíli to sit down on the ground, once he noticed the trembling, as the brunet tried to breathe through the old wave of fear and panic. Even after so many years the events still weighed heavily on his mind, just waiting for the right trigger to break free.

Dwalin hovered awkwardly beside him, apparently ashamed and unsure how to deal with the arisen situation. If Kíli hadn't been so busy with calming his frantic emotions, he might have thought the sight amusing, as it was, he just felt the need to crawl somewhere and wait for the world to turn into a kinder place.

He couldn't say how long they stood there, avoiding each other's gaze, he only knew that it cost them more time than they had. Still, Kíli needed this silence to push away the panic and feelings he hadn't been hit by in years.

"I have to do this," the brunet said at last, voice thin and quiet.

"Absolutely not," Dwalin replied, shaking his head vigorously, but when he did a step towards him this time, he didn't try to grab him. Kíli flinched, nevertheless.

While the warrior looked hurt and ashamed for the blink of an eye, Kíli berated his agitated body. It was alright. He was alright. There was no danger in front of him, only what he willingly faced and which shouldn't frighten him like this. It seemed, though that the initial shock hadn't completely worn off just yet.

"This is exactly, why you have to get back to Fíli," Dwalin told him gently, clearly attempting to reason with him.

This time it was Kíli's turn to shake his head. Fighting not only against Dwalin, but also against his traitorous body. He had to do this. He would never forgive himself should he turn back, just to learn a couple of hours later Arik had escaped, taking every chance for justice with him. No.

"I have to do this, Dwalin. Dáin's men will never find him in time."

"And how do you think, you will, then?"

"I know things they don't. You visited my 'amad often enough. You should know that there are things Dáin has no knowledge of. People desperate for money, Arik could easily turn to. People, who know how to get in and out unseen, just like Nori."

Dwalin cursed. "I guess, I should've listened to Thorin and allowed that thief to come with us."

It was no secret they didn't trust each other, although Kíli had a suspicion that Nori was merely amused by Dwalin's distrust and therefore tried to fuel it on purpose. Dwalin, though, taking his job as a guard seriously, wouldn't take anyone with them on a journey he didn't trust.

"You see? We don't have many options."

"Still, you can't go on your own. It's too dangerous."

The small hope Kíli had been nursing at Dwalin's patience and willingness to listen to him, was squelched in just a few heartbeats like an annoying insect. Sure, he could order Dwalin to let him go, but the warrior was here for his protection and therefore was allowed to do whatever he wanted as long as it ensured Kíli's safety. There was nothing he could do. The tiredness hit him with such force, it almost caused him to faint.

"So, where should we look first?"

Kíli's eyes widened with surprise, staring at Dwalin with disbelief, who looked at him expectantly. Chasing away what had just attacked him, – this interplay of emotions couldn't be healthy, – Kíli tried to figure out if he'd heard correctly.

"You will help me?" he asked, feeling a little lost at the sudden turn of events.

"I certainly can't let you go on your own. So, where do we look first?"

The feeling of confidence and authority slowly seeped into him as Dwalin's words filled him with new energy, helping him to forget about the exhaustion and fear for now and steadying his goal in his mind’s eye.

"Well..."

 

 


	12. Returned (Part 3)

 

 

After Dwalin got them through the checkpoints, they headed into one of the shady neighbourhoods of the Iron Hills. Appearing like all the other poor areas, no one could tell at the first glance that things worked differently here. It was a place of petty crooks, stealing and fencing small amounts that wouldn't cause suspicion.

Kíli lead the other dwarf purposefully to a tavern. He knew this place, had once stumbled into it as a little lad that had just escaped his father after a fight and was looking for shelter. The dwarves he’d met there weren’t bad people per se, just their morale seemed questionable. Back then everything had went well, with his ‘adad coming and finding him, kissing his little head and voicing his relief to see that Kíli was fine.

Now things were different. Kíli wasn’t a dwarfling anymore people tried to protect. He was Dáin’s nephew, consort of the prince of Erebor and bearer of heirs to both kingdoms, titles not everyone looked kindly to. Nevertheless, he was certain they had found the right place. If someone knew where Arik was hiding, it were the dwarves enjoying their ale inside this building.

Dwalin opened the door and stepped inside first, probably making sure it was safe to enter. The smell that hit the brunet caused him to halt in his steps. It was an utterly disgusting mixture of smoke, ale and fermented fruits that pushed the breath from his lungs. Bending over, Kíli heaved drily, but regardless how overwhelming the urge, there was nothing to throw up. He couldn’t say if the nausea that stayed with him afterwards, was the better outcome.

The guard returned, looking at him with a confused frown, when he noticed him to remain outside instead of following him. Kíli ignored it, trying to get a grip on the nausea and marched inside. Dwalin blocked the door behind them. Taking a deep breath, the young man’s gaze wandered over the crowed. They had yet to spot them, giving Kíli enough time to seize his courage. He had never spoken in front of so many people before. The diplomatic visits with Fíli didn’t count, since the alpha had mostly done the talking.

“I’m here,” he began at last with a raised voice. Although he halted instantly, when he noticed no one was paying attention to him and just continued with their conversations.

His face darkened as he walked over to a table, grabbed the jug of ale and smashed it to the ground, ere the dwarf sitting there had a chance to protest. The gazes of the guests wandered to him, the jumbled mess of noises silenced, save for the man whose drink he’d watered the floor with.

“I’m here,” Kíli repeated gravely, “because a guard has been murdered and another badly wounded. Not only that, but someone tried to murder the prince of Erebor. I want to know where Arik is hiding.”

Screw beginning this carefully, screw diplomacy and decency. He had no idea how to start an interrogation like that and would just take it as it came. There had been enough time wasted already. Kíli needed answers and he didn’t care which way he had to take to receive them.

“Another rich bastard that believes he can have everything he wants,” the man, whose jug Kíli had shattered got up, glaring at the brunet hatefully.

If the situation hadn’t been so serious, Kíli might’ve laughed about the ridiculous accusation. That guy didn’t know his history, though and in the end catching Arik was the only thing that mattered. When the other got up, he already guessed what would follow. The first blow was easily dodged. Aiming a kick at the alpha’s knees, the man stumbled. Kíli didn’t wait, dealing a punch to his cheek and using the brief confusion to grab the dwarf’s arm, fixating it on the attacker’s back and slamming him against the table. There he tried to fight against his grip, but Kíli’s hold was too strong.

Looking up from the struggling dwarf, the brunet’s gaze met the surprised expression of the other guests.

“I don’t care, who you are. And I don’t care what you want in exchange for the information. Money? Immunity? You can have it, for all I care. But if no one steps up in the next three seconds, to tell me where Arik is hiding, the guards will be called and everyone one of you will be treated like an accomplice. You are protecting a murderer and that won’t be tolerated!” Kíli sneered.

The man under him whimpered with pain and Kíli gave him such a hard push, when he finally let go of him that the dwarf and the table fell over.

“One,” Kíli began counting as his attacker got back to his feet, but was fast to bring as much distance as possible between them.

“Two.”

“He is hiding in the inn to the _Merry Smith_ , he is supposed to have someone smuggle him out tomorrow before dawn” the host called to them from behind counter. “And now get out of my tavern!”

Kíli nodded, turning to Dwalin.

“Give that man some money.”

“I don’t want your dirty money!” the dwarf spat.

Neither he nor Dwalin accepted this decision, though and a considerably amount of coins was placed on the counter.

“See it as a compensation for the jug and disturbing the peace of your establishment,” the brunet told him drily, before leaving the tavern.

Kíli knew the inn and hurried into its direction, with Dwalin catching up not much later. It was silent and dark on the streets, as if this place was aware of their plan and holding its breath for the next move.

“That was a nice punch, laddie.”

Despite being close of capturing Arik, a small smile crept to Kíli’s features at the compliment.

“I had a good teacher,” he replied, shooting a glance at the guard.

Dwalin chuckled quietly.

“Well, let’s get that bastard.”

Once they reached the inn, a shabby little place that probably offered food poisoning for free along with the rooms, it wasn’t that hard to figure out in which room they would find Arik. The innkeeper was all too happy to provide them with the needed information for a generous donation.

Climbing the stairs to the rooms, Dwalin once again insisted on leading the way. Kíli couldn’t stop the warm feeling from spreading through his chest. Perhaps he should’ve asked the other to accompany him right away. Even though his determination had given him the strength to go through with his plan, with Fíli in such a terrible state, it was good to know he wasn’t facing every obstacle on his own. That there was someone to protect him from harm. Something he might be in serious need for if it came down to it. Leaving on his own was a dangerous move, but only partially for him. He was gambling with something far more precious.

Their sudden halt yanked Kíli back into the presence.  Dwalin’s hand wandered slowly to the door handle. Nodding at him with a serious expression, the brunet returned it, reaching for his bow. It wouldn’t really help him on short distances, but feeling the wood in his hand sent a sense of calmness through his being he desperately needed in such an important situation.

Dwalin burst into the room, with the omega not far behind, screaming at the two men they found in the chamber to get down on their knees. Neither of them followed his order. A vase was thrown at the guard and the moment he was raising his arms protectively was the second Arik leaped forward, pushing Kíli to the ground and bolting from the room. His accomplice meanwhile had drawn a dagger, stabbing at Dwalin, who barely managed to escape the unexpected attack.

Struggling to his feet, Kíli’s head darted to and fro. Following Arik or helping Dwalin? His head tried to process which risk each decision would entail, but his mind came up blank. Following Arik or helping Dwalin? Dwalin could die. Arik could escape. Dwalin was a skilled fighter. Arik was _escaping_! Following Arik!

A choice that seemed to take an eternity, when he ran after him, although it turned out that only seconds could’ve passed. Still, Arik had a headstart. Kíli sprinted after him, the sound of his feet reverberating from the high walls. The other dwarf was taking sharp turns, disappearing behind columns and houses carved from stone, but the brunet wasn’t thrown off easily.

Just when he was about to catch up, Kíli began to feel a stitching pain in his side. What was worse, though, was that breathing became more difficult and for a second his vision seemed to black out. With growing panic he realised he wasn’t able to keep up, his body betraying him.

That couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t lose him now that he’d found Arik. The chances of tracking him down again, after a failed attempt, were everything between low and none existing.

He then did the only thing he could think of, stopped in the middle of the hallway and nocked and arrow. His hands were shaking slightly with exhaustion, but Kíli didn’t care where he would hit the bastard, as long as the arrow found its mark. There was barely enough time to think anyway and so the brunet aimed and shot. A whirring sound cutting through the air as the arrow was released.

Arik cried when the weapon buried itself deep in his calf, making him stumbled and causing him to collide painfully with the ground. Panting heavily Kili broke into a run once again, throwing himself on the other dwarf and keeping him on the floor, just as he attempted to get back up again.

“Get off me, you pathetic freak!” he spat, thrashing around.

Kíli simply tightened his hold, pressing him with even more force against the cold stone at the insult.

“Beaten by an omega,” the brunet snarled, his mind wandering back to the time he’d believed Arik to be a decent man. To a time where he had trusted this alpha, unaware that he was merely a pawn in the game of Arik and Dáin. “This has to be the greatest humiliation you’ve ever felt.”

Their fight continued. The alpha struggling and the omega holding him down. Only when Dwalin – who fortunately seemed unscathed – found them, along with a patrolling group of guards did Arik accepted defeat.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

After turning Arik in together with his accomplice, Dáin looked truly impressed. It was the first time the king of the Iron Hills gazed at Kíli with an expression that seemed to be a mixture of shock, respect and awe. The brunet couldn’t have cared less about it, though. He felt immensely tired and just wanted to return to Fíli. The old fears were resurfacing again and he begged to Mahal that he wouldn’t come back to news of grief and loss.

Thankfully the king noticed where his mind had wandered to. For once they had something in common, the worry for their loved ones. Dáin had lost wife and child and therefore could imagine the concern in his heart. It was the first time he realised that Dáin, Fíli and Thorin all knew of this pain. Kíli hoped he never had to face it himself.

Before he was able to reach Fíli’s side, though, he was roughly grabbed by his shoulders and faced with Óin’s furious features.

“What, in Mahal’s name, where you thinking?” the healer braked at him. “Have you completely lost your mind? Going after this criminal yourself... did you even take the time to think about the risks for a second?”

“No, I-“

“No?!” he exclaimed incredulous. “The only reason I’ve kept your secret until now is because you promised me you would be careful! That you would avoid stress and act to the best of your knowledge for your-“

“Can we not do this, right now?” Kíli interrupted the other pleadingly.

Of course he understood that the other was angry, knew that he owed the other dwarf more than just a little gratitude. Other physicians wouldn’t have accepted the brunet’s request and informed the prince and king of Erebor right away. Kíli was aware how lucky he was that Óin was a dwarf to be trusted without much persuading, but right now he didn’t want to think about any of it. He just wanted to sit down at the bedside of the man he loved, hold his hand and pray to every Valar to keep Fíli in this world.

“I just want to see Fíli right now.”

“This is something you should’ve thought about, before you ran off! If you think you can just go to him, without letting me examine you and making sure the-“

“Óin?” an enfeebled and confused voice called for the healer, interrupting his furious tirade.

 

 


	13. Returned (Part 4)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologise in advance for the last part of this chapter. It actually wasn't planned to put it in at all, but I can't help it, when characters tempt fate, I can't stop myself from making them regret it. :'D

 

 

Kíli’s eyes widened with disbelief. Pushing the other dwarf off, the brunet hurried into the next room, where Fíli blinked at the door, looking completely exhausted. But he was awake, a soft smile creeping to his lips as he spotted his consort.

He took a seat next to the bed in a heartbeat, bending down to press a kiss to Fíli’s head. His limbs were shaking with relief and tears of joy blurred his vision. Reaching for one of the blond’s hands, Kíli pressed a kiss to the knuckles, rubbing them reassuringly while he gifted his love a wobbly smile.

“How are you feeling?” Kíli asked him softly.

It seemed so surreal, so unbelievable that Fíli would pull through again, just like the last time he’d been wounded at this place. He was so strong, so immensely strong to withstand so much agony, making the omega in turn extremely lucky.

Óin hadn’t followed them, it seemed as if he wanted to offer them some privacy despite everything Kíli had done to anger him.

“Sore… and tired… and my back is throbbing like mad,” he grimaced at the last part, urging Kíli to squeeze his hand sympathetically. “What happened? I… I just remember the guard and then… then there was pain,” his words were slurring slightly with tiredness and the way he tried to keep his breathing shallow, to prevent even more pain from shooting through his back.

“It was… it was Arik. He attacked you,” Kíli confessed. It was difficult to swallow the anger and hate he felt at the mention of the alpha’s name. Losing control right now was out of question, though. Fíli was the one that needed support, reassurance and love, not the other way round.

A furrow appeared between Fíli’s brows.

“Arik…,” he murmured carefully, as if he had to taste the name with his tongue. “I thought the voice sounded familiar... where… where is he now?”

“We got him before he managed to escape.”

“We?”

Kíli blushed. He certainly wasn’t ashamed of what he’d done. They had turned Arik in and now he was waiting in a cell for his trial, which definitely wouldn’t hold any mercy for him. Yet he was aware of the dangers he’d opened himself up to. Fíli had once asked him to think of them and their love, before he did something reckless and while Kíli thoughts had been dominated by the desire of avenging his love, he hadn’t truly considered what he would’ve put his husband through, had he not returned.

“Dwalin and I went after him,” Kíli replied honestly, nevertheless. And perhaps knowing the brunet hadn’t been alone in the end, although only because of Dwalin’s foresight, would soothe Fíli’s worries.

“And… and what is Dáin going to-,“ Fíli groaned, when he moved too suddenly.

“Shh,” Kíli hushed him, concerned the wound might start bleeding again, if his beloved fidgeted a little too often.

This talk was not helping at the moment. The brunet didn’t want to leave him in the dark, but it was unmistakable that this conversation was merely agitating Fíli, instead of ensuring that he could calm down.

“Don’t think about what’s going to happen with Arik. Just focus on getting well again,” Kíli told him softly, pressing tender kisses to Fíli’s fingertips, which the other regarded with a soft, content sigh.

He was glad that his presence seemed to help Fíli relax his limbs.

“Why was Óin so angry with you, though?” the alpha asked him after some minutes had passed in comfortable silence. Kíli had already assumed Fíli had fallen back asleep, but his beloved was still awake and obviously keen to spend as much of his waking hours with him as possible.

Kíli swallowed, unsure how to start. He wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret for much longer anyway, but couldn’t help the feeling of dread rolling around in his stomach. Fíli would certainly be angry or at least Kíli would be angry, were their roles reversed.

Lacking a better way to phrase it, Kíli simply guided the hand he was still holding under his shirt, pressing it flat to his belly. “Feel,” he told him gently.

Fíli pressed carefully against the curved belly, stroking the taut skin, before he began to rub it almost reassuringly.

“Kíli,” he breathed with wonder and disbelief, no ounce of anger audible in his voice. His eyes had widened, his expression a mixture of happiness and tears of joy. “How long?”

“Óin thinks somewhere around the eighteenth week,” the brunet replied, joining the alpha’s hand with his own and intertwining their fingers on the small bump.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” And here it was. The words Kíli had feared and why hadn’t dared to utter anything in the first place. “You should’ve-“

“I wanted to come with you,” Kíli interrupted him firmly. “I knew you would insist I should stay at home. But I wanted to come. I didn’t want to see you and Yrsa go for some months and leave me in Erebor on my own.” Fíli opened his mouth to protest, but the omega was having none of it. “Yes, I wouldn’t have been alone, but you know what I mean. I’m your consort and I wanted to come with you. I wanted to support you here. I want to learn and I certainly don’t want to avoid this place forever. Yes, terrible things have happened here, but it also was my home for over seventy years and the biggest part of it I was happy. I belong at your side, my love,” he emphasized, leaning down to kiss Fíli’s brow.

The other sighed, but didn’t protest, which was much more forgiving than Kíli had expected. It was such a crucial information he shouldn’t have withheld and would’ve understood if Fíli reprimanded him firmly. But either it was the exhaustion from the wound and fighting to stay alive or Fíli simply was able to comprehend his motives better than the omega had dared to hope.

“How long did you know?” the blond asked, not once stopping the gentle motions of his thumb, rubbing circles into the skin right above his belly button.

“Óin confirmed it about two weeks before the departure.”

Fíli huffed. “So that’s why he suddenly demanded on accompanying us.”

Kíli lowered his gaze sheepishly. “I made him promise not to tell anyone. But he wouldn’t let me go without ensuring I was well looked after.”

“Well, I guess I have to thank you, then. I trust Óin more than any other healer.”

The sudden burning in his eyes hit the brunet out of the blue. His lips wobbled dangerously as he thought back to the hours of fright, not knowing if Fíli was going to survive. He didn’t want to imagine what might’ve happened, had another healer tried to patch him up. Óin was known for his strange methods other physicians didn’t dare to try and perhaps one of those unorthodox approaches was what had saved the prince’s life in the end.

“Hey,” for the first time the hand left the spot on his belly, taking the warmth with it and causing a shiver to run down his spine. Instead Fíli stretched out his arm so he could reach up from his position on the bed and wipe the first tear away, escaping between Kíli's lids. “I will be fine. I promise.”

The sob inside his throat made him almost choke on the little relieved laugh.

“Sorry,” he apologised. “Must be the hormones.” Although that was probably only partially true.

Fíli chuckled. “Which makes me wonder, how you could keep your condition a secret for so long.”

As his vision slowly started to clear, Kíli smiled.

“I didn’t have to throw up once this time, although I’m not sure if the constant nausea I’m feeling instead is an advantage, and on the road Yrsa always insisted on sleeping between us. It’s not your fault. I tried to hide it from everyone.”

“I hope you thought at least of bringing some wider clothing with you,” Fíli grinned at him. His lying position caused him to look only half as smug as he usually would.

“Aye. I brought some of the first few tunics my mother made for me, when she learned I was pregnant with Yrsa. I’m not stupid, you know?” Kíli teased him.

Fíli simply chuckled.

“Oh, I still think you should visit a tailor here as soon as possible.”

“And why is that?” Kíli wondered, unable to catch up with the blond’s thoughts.

“My recovery will take time and I guess all those diplomatic meetings will have to be postponed until then, let alone that Dáin has to take care of Arik and figure out how to improve the safety measures. It seems we will have to prolong our stay here. If you don’t see a tailor, you will be bulging at the seams by the time we arrive at home. You will probably be close to your due date.”

Kíli blanched at that. He hadn’t even thought about the fact, that they would have to stay longer than initially intended.

“Or you could take Dwalin and ride home earlier,” Fíli soothed him, clearly noticing his distress.

He recovered fast from the first shock and shook his head with a soft smile.

“Don’t worry about me. As long as I don’t have to give birth in the back of a wagon on the streets I will be fine. And as I already told you. My place is with you.”

When this time, he leaned down to kiss his beloved on the lips, he allowed Fíli to tug him gently onto the bed. They let the kiss linger, deepening it and offering the other reassurance of the other’s presence, speaking of love just with their lips and their joined hands on the soft curve of Kíli’s belly. And it didn't take long for Fíli to look as if the pain in his back was forgotten.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Kíli cursed as another contraction hit him in the dead of the night. They were getting stronger and coming more often. Talk about giving birth in the back of a wagon on the streets. It seemed like he had challenged Mahal with his words, there was no other way to explain his predicament. They were still a day’s journey away from Erebor and Óin had delayed their trip even further, demanding them to travel more slowly, to keep as much stress as possible from Kíli’s heavily pregnant state. Óin’s cautiousness cost them now the possibility of giving birth within the protected walls of Erebor.

When he had felt the first contractions, he had hoped they would make it to Erebor. It had been three days of feeling mild contractions before they had started in earnest, when he was in labour with Yrsa. This babe seemed to be in a hurry, though. Not only was the due date still two weeks away, but what had begun as a soft pull in his belly at dinner time and which he’d shrugged off, believing it to be false labour, had tightened during the last hours.

Beside him Fíli and Yrsa were deeply asleep, completely oblivious to his poor state. Oh Mahal, he couldn’t give birth here. Everyone would hear him scream and writhe. It would give their daughter such a fright. He needed to sit through this until they reached Erebor. His mother wasn’t here to help him. There was no midwife, only Óin and a camp full of soldiers he might entrust with his life, but never wanted to share something like _this_ with.

Rolling onto his other side, away from his husband and daughter, and crossing his legs as if it could stop the inevitable, Kíli clutched his belly, feeling the hardened expanse. It felt like an eternity, until the contraction finally loosened its strong hold. Kíli panted heavily, trying to inhale all the air he had forbidden himself to take in, while the pain had lasted. He hadn’t wanted to wake anyone and was now feeling sweaty and exhausted.

Waiting for the next contraction got his hopes up again, as it didn’t come as fast as anticipated. He tried to ignore the thought that he had perhaps simply lost his track of time through worrying. Right when he wanted to sigh with relief, filling him with the desire to go back to sleep, the ghost of the pain had lessened enough to inform him of his full bladder.

Kíli cursed again. Hadn’t he relieved himself only minutes ago? Of all the positive sides of a pregnancy, like seeing and feeling the baby move under his skin, having to pee constantly certainly wasn’t part of it. With a grunt the brunet struggled into a sitting position and crawled, everything but gracefully, out of the wagon. He felt as cumbersome as a mûmak, as he tried to get outside without jostling his husband and daughter.

Finally on his feet Kíli sighed with relief, the pressure on his back ceasing a little, even though his legs wobbled slightly. The men keeping guard didn’t pay him much attention as he stalked into the darkness and away from the campfire, already used to his always jam-packed bladder.

The stars and the moon were veiled, as he found an unobserved spot in the dark. Supporting himself with one hand at the trunk of a tree he took care of his business. Just when he wanted to return to the camp, another contraction hit him. Pressing his forehead against the bark Kíli grimaced and tried to breathe through the pain, suppressing any kind of noise attempting to slip past his throat.

All right. Perhaps he wouldn’t manage to sit through until Erebor, but maybe he could at least wait until morning before alarming everyone. Right when this thought crossed his mind, though, the sudden urge to push hit him. The omega’s breathing turned erratic as he clamped his legs together. No. No. No. No. No. This wasn’t happening right now. This was even worse than the back of a wagon. Holding his belly, he waited on trembling legs for the contraction to lessen, fighting against the needs of his body. It was only then that he got aware that his trousers were wet and sticky with fluids, making him wonder how on earth he could’ve missed it until now. However, there were far more important things on his mind right now.

As soon as the contraction had passed, he waddled as fast as possible back to the camp, reaching the wagon just as another contraction announced itself. With a grunt he slumped against the side of the wagon, reached with a sluggish hand for Fíli’s foot and shook it frantically.

The alpha murmured something in his sleep.

“Fee,” he groaned desperately. “Fí-“ the rising pain silenced him, before a roar of agony could leave his lips.

Yrsa was sleeping. He couldn’t wake her. Luckily this time Fíli reacted, sitting up groggily and blinking at him in confusion. Kíli’s features were hidden by the shadows of the campfire, but his demeanour must’ve given some of his state away.

“Kíli? What is it?” Fíli sounded clearly worried.

“Baby- now,” the omega pressed through clenched teeth, still fighting against the urge to bear down, unable to say how long he would succeed. It felt like his whole body worked against him.

Fíli’s eyes widened.

“Has your water broken yet? What about the contractions, how long is the distance between them? Come on, lie down. We will get you through this as comfortable as-“

“No!” Kíli hissed frantically. “You don’t understand. It’s coming _now_.”

If the situation hadn’t been as dire, Kíli might have laughed about the way Fíli gaped at him and how his whole features seemed to slip. As it was, he could only grit his teeth through the pain and wait for his husband to act.

And act he did, after some heartbeats of shock. Scrambling out of the wagon, he whistled loudly. Dwalin was there not much later, taking Yrsa from Fíli’s arms, who had carefully lifted her. Thankfully her sleep was deep enough and she didn’t wake, while Dwalin received the order to look after her. Another approaching soldier was sent to wake Óin. Afterwards Fíli helped him into the wagon, lit a lantern and then got Kíli out of the sticky trousers. His eyes went comically round at what he saw. The omega couldn’t care less, far too busy to breathe through the pain.

At least Óin appeared barely a second later, pushing Fíli to the side, who crawled beside Kíli and heaved him in his arms, propping him against his chest and holding him in a strong embrace. Immediately he could feel a part of the fear melt away. He was safe with Fíli. Fíli would help him through this. A kiss was placed to his head, causing him to smile despite the pain.

Meanwhile the healer was barking orders, demanding some hot water and clean blankets, before he turned back to Kíli.

“Stupid lad,” he scolded him. “You should’ve come to me as soon as you felt the first contraction. From the second pregnancy on these things can progress terribly fast.”

This Kíli had noticed, as he relaxed against Fíli, the pain easing once again. His chest was heaving with gasps, the tunic sticking to his body like a second skin. With closed lids he tried to soothe his own frantic heartbeat, however, the words of love Fíli whispered into his hair, were far more helpful. Usually Fíli wouldn’t be allowed to be present during the birth, but the current circumstances seemed to justify an exception. Kíli was immensely grateful, unable to tell if he would manage to get through this without him now.

The pain didn’t leave him for long, tensed his body before Kíli even knew it was returning.

“Alright. I can see the head already, this shouldn’t take long. Let the next contraction guide you and push with it.”

Everything that happened afterwards was a blur. He pushed, he panted, he waited, drowned in Fíli’s declarations of love and the way he praised his bravery and strength, while Kíli still stifled every sound that would turn out louder than a grunt or a groan, Yrsa’s peaceful sleep all that mattered. Until finally, the cries of a new-born reached his ears.

A kiss brushed his cheek.

“I love you. I love you so much. Thank you. Thank you,” Fíli’s hot breath made him shiver.

Overwhelmed with emotion’s Kíli laughed softly. Relieved to hear their child cry, glad everything seemed to have gone well, happy to know they were only heartbeats away from holding their baby.

“I love you,” he croaked and awaited eagerly the blond’s kiss. It was brief and soft, but so sweet Kíli could’ve cried with the content way it made him feel.

“Congratulations! He might be a little smaller than I would like, but you are now parents of a healthy omega,” Óin announced.

The child was placed carefully into his waiting arms. He was squealing unhappily, but calmed down fast, as soon as the laces of Kíli’s tunic were loosened and the baby could rest on his naked chest. The brunet was looking down softly at the little perfect thing he was supporting with both hands. He was truly a good smaller than Yrsa had been years ago, but no less beautiful.

Fíli caressed the head of the baby gently with his pointer. None of them caring that Óin was still working on Kíli and cleaning the worst of the mess. Something they would be grateful for later. Giving birth in a wagon wasn’t really the most hygienic place.

“What had you in such a hurry, little one?” Fíli whispered softly to their son.

“Perhaps he wanted everyone to greet him, when we return home,” Kíli chuckled softly.

“A name would be in order for such a case.”

And considering what had happened in the Iron Hills and the following weeks of diplomatic meetings and discussion how to improve the security of the kingdom, there hadn’t been much room for talks like that.

“Maybe we could-,“ Kíli began, but Fíli wouldn’t even let him finish, already suspecting what he wanted to suggest.

“No, definitely not. I know you mean well, but… as much as his name means love, it also means loss for me and I don’t want the latter tied to our child. I want to see him for who he is. I just want to think of his smiling face when I say his name,” Fíli explained, sounding torn between affection and a ghost of a pain the brunet might never be able to fully comprehend.

“Then not Frerin,” Kíli agreed. He didn’t want to push his mate anyway, just had thought it a nice idea to honour the blond's first love, but he understood Fíli’s reasoning. “What about Nali?”

“Nali,” Fíli spoke the name softly, looking at the baby while he tasted the sound of it on his tongue. “Nali,” he repeated once again and this time, when Kíli looked up at the blond, against whom he was still leaning, a gentle smile graced his lips. “I like it.”

 

 


	14. Bofur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for [karebear119](http://archiveofourown.org/users/karebear119), who wondered what happened to Bofur.

 

 

A frown was sitting on Kíli features as Bifur made a gesture and pointed at some of the tools next to them. It seemed to take a while, but soon the brunet understood what Bofur’s cousin was trying to tell him and nodded with a new spark of enthusiasm leaping to his eyes.

Bofur smiled as he watched their interactions from the other side of the room. He needed to stay close to the counter, in case a customer entered the little shop.

It had been hard to leave the Iron Hills at such a terrible time for the lad. The whole journey to Erebor, he and Bombur had barely thought of anything else than the bright young man Dáin was attempting to break. Sure, Fíli was supporting the poor omega, but there was only so much he could do.

Once they arrived their attention had turned to the care of their cousin. That he was still with them was a miracle, that he regained his motor abilities another and one they didn’t dare to hope for. They weren’t ashamed to admit they had expected a bedridden dwarf they would have to feed and clean for the rest of his life. Bifur had an axe in his head, what else was there to think? Despite every of their assumptions, though, their cousin had returned to his vocation, of course there were still things he needed help with and always would, but he had managed to take back his life.

And even much more than that, Bofur thought as he watched his cousin and Kíli interact with fondness. They seemed to understand each other better than anyone else could. Two hurt souls, aware of the scars of the other, offering support and understanding.

He had been so happy for the lad, when he learned he was to marry Fíli, who turned out to be the prince of Erebor. They truly loved each other and this was all that mattered for a long-lasting happiness and a bright future. Still, there were things the blond alpha didn’t understand. The burden put onto Kíli’s shoulders stayed the same, it just had changed its environment to a far kinder one, the expectations laden onto him held no different weight.

What Bifur offered him was a safe place from all the lessons. He offered him work in the field the young omega loved and a soul seeing right through his pain with one look. It made Kíli smile, dispelled the tension from his limbs and replaced it with pride.

And Bofur, who Kíli had wanted to visit in the first place, couldn’t have felt more pleased with himself to have introduced these two to one another. Spending time with each other and the work they enjoyed was good for both of them. 

 

 


	15. Goodbye

 

 

Kíli pulled his youngest son close to his chest, hugging him tightly. It hadn't a secret that this day would come someday, but he was still surprised how fast it seemed to have reached them. Throin – a name they had chosen to honour the king of Erebor, while still maintaining a certain distance to keep the pressure from the future king of the Iron Hills as much as possible – had just turned thirty and was therefore considered battle ready. It was also the age he would leave his home for five years to live in the Iron Hills. Afterwards he would change his domicile every two years, switching between the two kingdoms until he came of age.

It was an agreement they had made soon after Throin’s birth. The Iron Hills needed time to get used to their future king. They couldn’t just be introduced to the lad once he ascended the throne. The people had to see that he cared for them and the kingdom, that he took their problems serious and would do his best to be an honest and just king, but to accomplish these things he had to get to know the realm and above all else, had to care for it.

At the same time dozens of teachers would teach him everything about the Iron Hills' history and it’s culture. Until today Fíli and Kíli had done their best to shape their son into a young alpha with a strong mind and a sense of honour they could only feel proud of. Throin wasn’t easy to manipulate anymore, but represented the values of Erebor and its people. His parents had high hopes in him. Believed he would be able to change the Iron Hills for the better and to achieve the goals no king before him had. Needless to say, though, they had never uttered these things to him out loud. Throin knew his parents were proud of him and more wasn’t necessary. He didn’t need to suffer under their massive expectations.

Those were the reasons for a quickly signed contract thirty years ago… this and the fact that only their fifth child had turned out to be an alpha. If these things had been up to Kíli they would’ve stopped after their third child, which didn’t mean that he loved the other two any less, on the contrary. But the brunet definitely could’ve lived without experiencing stuff like morning sickness and labour pain twice more.

He had known his duty, though. And while they hoped to change the Iron Hills and to allow also omegas, betas and women to inherit the throne in the future, these things had to progress with the greatest care. Having a heir come from a different kingdom was already going to turn it into a difficult situation, but forcing a king onto them that wasn’t an alpha would definitely cause protests, if not a rebellion and even worse scenarios. No, Kíli had known that only an alpha was able to soothe the frantic fears of the dwarves and therefore had been relieved, when after a beta and another girl, their family was finally blessed with an alpha.

It didn’t make the imminent separation any easier, though.

Pressing his forehead to the one of his son’s tenderly, before breaking their embrace, Kíli sighed.

“You will write, every week. And if you feel homesick, you will let me know and we will visit and stay as long as the matters of Erebor allow, alright?”

Throin rolled his eyes, but nodded. He would feel the longing for home soon enough, as the omega was aware of. It was the first time he would be away from his family and everything he knew. At first it would be exciting, but with the time he would miss them. Five years could be a long time and finding new friends in the foreign place might be harder than Throin thought. After all, he would be busy with lessons.

Yrsa was the next to hug her little brother, squeezing him so tightly she pressed the air from his lungs.

“You are crushing me,” the young alpha gasped.

“You will tell me if anyone is messing with you and I will be over to kick their arses!”

“Whatever you want, as long as you let go of me!” he begged her, while hitting her back with a small amount of desperation.

Fíli and Kíli chuckled at the sight. Yrsa was twenty years older, already a strong princess and feared on the training grounds. Dwalin had shaped her into an amazing warrioress, now it was just time for her other teachers to finally convince her to try her stubbornness with diplomacy and not with an axe.

She grinned as she stepped back.

After her it was Nali, Loni and Aud’s turn. They hated to see their little brother go, but promised to write him as often as possible, asking him to tell them everything he learned and experienced in the Iron Hills.

At last there was Fíli. Thorin, busy with the burden of kingship, had already made his farewells to his grandchild. The blond pressed his forehead to Throin’s, while holding him in an one-armed embrace. His words were quiet and only meant for his son’s ears.

Seeing them like that, Kíli was once again hit with the realisation how much these too resembled each other. Throin was a small reflection of his father. Blond, curly hair, a big nose, blue eyes… they could’ve been one and the same person… if… yes… if it hadn’t been for Kíli’s recklessness and enthusiasm within him. And yet, he was barely able to blink the tears away at the thought of having to see his son go.

There wasn’t anything going to happen to him. Ori would be with him and make sure he was alright and Dwalin and Gimli had volunteered to ensure Throin’s safety. They couldn’t be better prepared. Nonetheless Kíli leaned gladly into Fíli’s hold, as their son mounted the pony and waved at them, before setting off into his own little adventure.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, leaving kudos and commenting! I really hope you enjoyed the side stories as much as the main story.
> 
> And as announced, in case you would like to read the side stories in chronological order, you can look at this list for guidance:  
> 1\. Charge  
> 2\. Argument  
> 3\. Freedom  
> 4\. The Wedding  
> 5\. First Fight  
> 6\. Bofur  
> 7\. Toymaker  
> 8\. Suspicion  
> 9\. Worries  
> 10\. Massage  
> 11\. Returned  
> 12\. Goodbye


End file.
